Barbara Windsor

[jennyjoan]

I have just read about Barbara and am so sad.

I do indeed have a friend who is in the early stages but I am going to be honest - I can't cope with it. She has a son who lives with her and he is bearing the brunt of nastiness, rude, - don't want to talk about it.

My sista rang her up last night and she ripped the a%se of the son - this son absolutely no friends, no girlfriends, doesn't drink smoke - just comes in from work and retreats to his bedroom.

My heart goes out to the both of them but I don't know what i can do. The friend sleeps until 3 in the day and practically lives in nightclothes.

Need some kind of advice as to what I can do to help.

[Zacs-Master]

You can’t do anything JJ. It’s a terrible, cruel condition.

[jennyjoan]

I know Zacs but I did do a lot of entertaining for about 30 years and when i turned 60 I stopped it all, the music, the food, karoake, the smoking - the everything - from I stopped this - things changed - well I got a dog and my life changed so most friends can't believe how much I have changed from mad person I was to the dull as dish water now. What i am saying this person loved coming to my house and most of the time it was for a full weekend - many many times.

It just looks to me since all this stopped she sorta became "unwell" so I'm feeling guilty

I want to take her out for a meal, do a little shopping with her but I "can't" seem to get around to it. I must admit I am a little afraid and nervous.

[pixie374]

You have done nothing to cause it, jj. Why don't you just make a short visit first and see if there is any help they need?

[Zacs-Master]

You think that because you stopped living life in the fast lane, she’s become ill? How bizarre.

[Mamyalynne]

I agree with Pixie, a short cheery visit and don't react if she gets stroppy or muddled and get a feel of what she may be able to cope with.

[bookbinder]

If you really want to do something to help your friend, start by asking those who know her, such as your sister or maybe your friend's son. See what they say about what, if any, help you could provide, rather than just knocking on your friend's door and asking her. The 'softly, softly' approach might not be a bad one here.

[jennyjoan]

I know it is not my fault but the one thing I know she would love would be to come up to my house but honestly I couldn't cope with the repetitiveness and sometimes nastiness for hours etc.

Before she became "ill" - she repeated anyway constantly as in her personality.

I don't mind an hour or so but I would be strung up as a string. She does have another sister and nieces and nephews who don't give a funk.

[Islay]

Why don't you take a nice lunch over and then the visit is limited to an hour or 2 and see how you cope?

[jennyjoan]

she doesn't do lunch as she doesn't surface until 3 pm and then she is still confused.

yes I will get down to see her.

[Mamyalynne]

Pop round with a cake or similar late afternoon.

[hereIam]

I feel sorry for her son, what sort of life is that for him. She needs to go into care as soon as possible then he can get on with HIS life.

[jennyjoan]

just an update - called and I feel good that I did. thanks for your comments.

[jennyjoan]

well my friend has been flew to Tennessee Kodak. And it is for 6 months.

I do believe she is in the best of the two evils.

Her sitting in the room (son working) - no stimulation for days and weeks. Curtains across whether it was good day or bad. No they closed - so she didn't know seasons of the day never mind the weeks and hours of the day.

She is in Tennessee with her daughter and 5 children - and so I am hoping she will be stimulated for 6 months (she is going) sista things it wasn't good for her

I say she will be stimulated on a daily basis with the 4 dughters having company - maybe taker on a McDonnells - and I hope many other entertainment.

Or then scenario - she will get up smorning and wish for home some morning - frightened looking for her son and perhaps cry to get back

I hope you gets the stimulation from then and could be better done;.