A Snail..!

[Voltage]

A snail went to the police station to report that he had been mugged.

He  said "I've been robbed by two tortoises"

The desk officer said "can you describe the incident"

The snail replied "No not really, it all happened so fast"

[Toorak]

He must have been shell-shocked

[Hopkirk]

I think he was a bit sluggish

[Toorak]

Let’s hope the police put feelers out

[kvalidir]

The only thing he could tell Police about the whole thing is that they were both wearing Turtle Necks :)

[Hopkirk]

What slime balls they were.

[Toorak]

I hope he lodged a slime report

[Toorak]

Ha ha - snap hopkirk :-)

[Toorak]

Nice one kvalidir

[Patsy33]

Police had a word in his shell-like. All he could remember is, they had a hard exterior...

[DTCwordfan]

A man and his pet snail walk into a bar. It's about 5pm, but they're ready for a good night of drinking.

They start off slowly, watching TV, drinking beer, eating peanuts. As the night goes on they move to mixed drinks, and then acotxh shooters, one after the other.

Finally, the barman says: "Last call." So, the man says, "One more for me... and one more for my snail."

The barman sets them up and they shoot them back. Suddenly, the snail falls over dead. The man throws some money on the bar, puts on his coat and starts to leave.

The barman, yells: "Hey buddy, you can't just leave that lyin' there." To which the man replies: "That's not a lion, that's a snail."

[Voltage]

I just caught two snails in the garden having a fight ...I thought *** I'll let em slug it out!

[weecalf]

Two rabbits in a cafe eating toasted sandwiches .They have four different types next thing one keels over dead .Four years later they meet up in the great warren in the sky . last to die rabbit say what happened that day in the cafe . Classic case of mixing my toasties the other rabbit says ..Ill get the coat