Am In So Much Pain. Is It Because I'm A...
Body & Soul0 min ago
Son Has Depression
7 Answers
I have 14 (almost 15) year old twins.
DD has been diagnosed with Aspergers and amongst all the difficulties she has she uses her brother as a safety net.
She has few (well one person willing to talk to her) friends at school so uses DS as a go to person she feels safe with.
He being at that age, doesn’t want her hanging around. He is embarrassed by her and her reactions and can at times exasperate the difficulties she has at school. I can fully understand where he is coming from. Who wants an embarrassing sister cramping your style!
We take DD to a lifestyle councillor to help her better manage her interpersonal skills but she hates it and refused to go in the last time and had a half hour melt down outside. She wailed that DS was depressed but we don’t force him to see anyone.
So we sent him in in her place.
Now he has been saying for ages he is depressed but we just thought he was acting up because he alwats say it with a grin on his face or when he just doesn’t wNt to do someth8ng.
It turns out he is depressed and has thoughts of killing himself. And because he knows DD has this condition feels guilty he feels this way.
We obviously want to help him but don’t know how or where to go.
CHAMMs was diabolical with DD and refused to even see her let alone help so they are out of the question.
Any ideas on where to go or what we can do please?
Thanks
DD has been diagnosed with Aspergers and amongst all the difficulties she has she uses her brother as a safety net.
She has few (well one person willing to talk to her) friends at school so uses DS as a go to person she feels safe with.
He being at that age, doesn’t want her hanging around. He is embarrassed by her and her reactions and can at times exasperate the difficulties she has at school. I can fully understand where he is coming from. Who wants an embarrassing sister cramping your style!
We take DD to a lifestyle councillor to help her better manage her interpersonal skills but she hates it and refused to go in the last time and had a half hour melt down outside. She wailed that DS was depressed but we don’t force him to see anyone.
So we sent him in in her place.
Now he has been saying for ages he is depressed but we just thought he was acting up because he alwats say it with a grin on his face or when he just doesn’t wNt to do someth8ng.
It turns out he is depressed and has thoughts of killing himself. And because he knows DD has this condition feels guilty he feels this way.
We obviously want to help him but don’t know how or where to go.
CHAMMs was diabolical with DD and refused to even see her let alone help so they are out of the question.
Any ideas on where to go or what we can do please?
Thanks
Answers
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I can understand how difficult it must be to have 2 children with mental health issues. You must be struggling too, trying to help both of them. With regards to your son.. he might benefit from first speaking to your GP and getting him some therapy of his own.. someone outside of the family that he can talk to freely without fear of upsetting anyone. He might also benefit from some time alone with yourself as it might seem to him that all your time is focused on your daughter (for obvious reasons) but he might be feeling a bit pushed aside.
As for your daughter.. having Aspergers can be very isolating (I speak from experience), especially at her age and she probably latches on to your son at school because he is a safe and familiar face when she is having anxiety attacks (i used to do the same with my own brother at high school). It might be worth finding a different type of therapy for her that is outside the "norm" as it sounds like your local primary care are fairly useless. When I was diagnosed, I was recommended to do Mindfulness therapy and I have found that this is a brilliant way to help control my thoughts, my actions and keep myself calm when I am panicking in public. You can either go to a therapist to learn it or you can get books and phone apps that can teach you. It might be worth giving it a try with your daughter and seeing if it makes her feel any more calm and less reliant on her brother for comfort at school.
As for your daughter.. having Aspergers can be very isolating (I speak from experience), especially at her age and she probably latches on to your son at school because he is a safe and familiar face when she is having anxiety attacks (i used to do the same with my own brother at high school). It might be worth finding a different type of therapy for her that is outside the "norm" as it sounds like your local primary care are fairly useless. When I was diagnosed, I was recommended to do Mindfulness therapy and I have found that this is a brilliant way to help control my thoughts, my actions and keep myself calm when I am panicking in public. You can either go to a therapist to learn it or you can get books and phone apps that can teach you. It might be worth giving it a try with your daughter and seeing if it makes her feel any more calm and less reliant on her brother for comfort at school.
I have struggled with depression for over ten years. I've tried counseling and medication, and while they work wonders for some people, they didn't for me. I can honestly say getting a little puppy has been the best thing for me. Going for walks with her really lifts my mood, letting her out for a wee prevents me from staying in bed all the time, and knowing that she will be brokenhearted and have no one to look after her, has stopped me from killing myself so many times.
I would also recommend reading this:
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and try these products if you think they may be suffering from it:
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I would also recommend reading this:
https:/
and try these products if you think they may be suffering from it:
https:/
https:/
He had a couple of sessions with DDs psychologist (she had a melt down and refused to even step in the building) and he does seem to have parked up a bit.
He told the psychologist that he was more down than usual as his friend group had a bit of a falling out and he worried about that but they have made up now so that has helped his mood.
He is engaging more and although far too engrossed with gameing he does join in more.
He is a lazy little blighter and doesn’t want to do some of the activities we do such as Kayaking and walking with Alpacas and stuff but when he comes along he does enjoy it. We just have to motivate him to get going lol
He is feeling better but I will keep an eye on him.
Thank you for all your kind words and advice.
He told the psychologist that he was more down than usual as his friend group had a bit of a falling out and he worried about that but they have made up now so that has helped his mood.
He is engaging more and although far too engrossed with gameing he does join in more.
He is a lazy little blighter and doesn’t want to do some of the activities we do such as Kayaking and walking with Alpacas and stuff but when he comes along he does enjoy it. We just have to motivate him to get going lol
He is feeling better but I will keep an eye on him.
Thank you for all your kind words and advice.
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