Named after someone?

[rhona_j]

How do people feel about naming a baby after someone?

I ask because, my husband and I were having one of those random discussions that ended up being possible baby names (for in the futrure, not just now!) and he said well if the baby was a girl he'd name her 'x' after his older sister who died at a very young age.

I said I didn't like the idea of naming a baby after someone, and he seemed really hurt, and kind of acted like it was something he wouldn't budge on.

I get the feeling he sees it as being some kind of jesture to his Mum, which I can understand, and I wouldn't so much mind it for a middle name, but not a first one.

I kind of feel like the baby is it's own person, and as such should have it's own unique name, boys in both our familes have tended to be named after the father, and I definetely won't be following that tradition. And it's not because I don't like the name (I do!) and I don't have a preference to any other name.

It's made me dread the moment we have to discuss this for real.
Can anyone understand, or am I being cold hearted?

[redcrx]

I wouldnt want my childs first name to be after someone but my son has his fathers name and my grandfathers name double barrelled as a middle name. Its works for me and my partner but really both parents have to agree on a name for their child.

[Pippa68]

Hmmmm..a bit daft getting all steamed up about something not so important as yet, but I do understand your feelings!

We gave our two daughters middle names ~ our eldest daughter has Nicola as her middle name (named after my aunt who is only 2 years older than me) and our youngest daughter has the middle names Isabella Pearl (both our grandmothers first names).

I would suggest this is a more reasonable option if you cannot agree regarding using the name as a first choice :o)

[annavc]

I think I'd agree with you on the first name but I think its a lovely thing to do as a middle name. My sister had twin girls just over a week ago and they decided on first names straight away, not linked to anyone in the family but they've just decided on middle names and one of them is being named after me (Charlotte Anna) and the other after my brother-in-law's sister (Elizabeth Laura). I was so touched, I actually cried when she told me, it means so much.

[boobesque]

My 7 year old son is named after my brother who died at 12 days old, i always said i would name a boy after him and i did, my mum was very honoured. But some people think its weird or creepy.
Its personal choice at the end of the day and if you really dont want to call your baby that then he should respect your wishes and compromise by having it as a middle name.
Good luck, and dont let it become a huge deal between you, its just a name after all!

[unruliejulie]

Both my sons have my brothers name (one each) as their middle names. My 3 year old has got one of my brothers names for his middle name followed by his Daddys middle name.Just my tribute to my love for them really. Like anything, its a personal choice.

[spanner7853]

i think this is a difficult one. I had my dad's middle name as my sons middle name as he died about 4 years before he was born but it's also my grandad's middle name who is still alive. I dont personally like to name a child with the first name of a deceaced person but i know a few people that have. I think it's something you would both need to discuss and agree on or this could turn into a nasty arguement. Your child will be a new individual person and may not suit the name your hubby wants to give them. Not only that you might have 10 boys and not have any girls.

[kick3m0n]

I completely agree Rhona. I am so not fond of naming babies after relatives etc, be they living or dead. I want that child to be absolutely their own person, and not some reminder/acknowledgement of a lost loved one that they probably didn't even know. Let's face it, no one is going to forget their dead rellie if a new baby isn't named after them, are they? And I think middle names are pointless (and often embarrassing lol), so I don't even advocate using a family name as a middle name. It's just not my thing at all, but of course, each to their own.

[rhona_j]

Thanks all.

I suppose I was just wanting to make sure I wasn't being funny about it.

If we ever have the conversation for real, I'll let you all know how it goes!

[Cathy]

My little boy has the same first name as his Dad, Grandad and going right back. It's a nice name and it's made a lot of people happy. However, it's his middle name that's used (and it's the same with his Dad). The child can always choose to use their middle name when they grow up. We picked a middle name that we thought was unique, only to be told afterwards of loads of people with the same name. I think the most important thing is to avoid a name that's associated with someone you dislike (which isn't as easy as it sounds). I would suggest that you leave it a while and come up with a compromise.

[WendyS]

I do feel every child ought to have its own first name as a right, rather than being in emotional memory of a former loved one who the baby will never have known. However in some countries and cultures it is often the tradition to name a new child after somebody in the family who has recently died.

I'd pick a unique first name, and compromise by adding any other "memorial" names afterwards if you can both agree on them.

[janmat]

I have also had this conversation several times with my partner. Im not pregnant and we dont have kids - yet! He and his father and grandfather are all named Charles. I find it very warm and loving - as they are as a family - that they all want the tradition to continue for the first born. So far they have Chic, Charlie and Charles - Im not sure how the next name will be abbreviated tho!!

[nicky999]

janmat...........How about "Chuck" :-)

[nicky999]

Forgot to add my grandson is also a Charlie.