Christmas Cracker Jokes....

[BANANASPLITS]

Lets have your worst Christmas cracker jokes!
I'll start with

Why does Father Christmas like to work in the garden ? Because he likes to hoe, hoe, hoe

[Canary42]

Because it's good for his 'ealth.

[marval]

What does Santa suffer from if he gets stuck in a chimney?
Claustrophobia.

[BANANASPLITS]

Who is never hungry at Christmas ? The turkey – he’s always stuffed !

[marval]

Which of Santa’s reindeers have to mind their manners most?
Rude-olph!

[Canary42]

What did Father Christmas give Trump's pussy ?

He sent her claws.

[marval]

Why did the turkey join the band?
Because it had the drumsticks!

[BANANASPLITS]

What do you get if you cross Santa with a duck?
A Christmas Quacker!

[Old_Geezer]

Why is Santa so jolly?
Because he knows where all the naughty girls live.

[marval]

What is the best Christmas present in the world?

A broken drum, you just can’t beat it!

[mallyh]

one snowman said to another can you smell carrots x

[spathiphyllum]

What did Cinderella say when her christmas photos didn’t arrive?

I do hope that one day my prints will come

[Hopkirk]

One night a Viking named Rudolph the Red was looking out the window when he said, “It’s going to rain.”

His wife asked, “How do you know?”

“Because Rudolph the Red knows rain, dear.”

[BANANASPLITS]

Why did Santa go to the doctor?
Because of his bad "elf"!

[BANANASPLITS]

What did Adam say on the day before Christmas?
It's Christmas, Eve!

[Canary42]

... and Eve replied "What do I give Adam"

[BANANASPLITS]

What do you get if you cross a bell with a skunk?
Jingle Smells!

[marval]

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Arthur
Arthur who?
Arthur any mince pies left?

[BANANASPLITS]

What do you get if you eat Christmas decorations? Tinsillitis

[marval]

Why did Jeremy Corbyn buy so many advent calendars this year? So he can practice opening the door to Number 10.