O A P Couple May Be Without Lettuce Over Christmas

[Muntin]

This should have probably been posted under 'News' but I haven't got a link yet as details of this shocking affair are still coming in.
Please feel free to contribute if you hear any more.

[fiction-factory]

How do you know he was drunk, tambo
https://healthyvoyager.com/officer-im-not-drunk-diseases-and-illnesses-that-mimic-intoxication/

[Muntin]

The lettuce-less couple are fine now, the relief column got through with supplies.
"We thought we were in for a really miserable Christmas, earlier in the week we had suffered from a Yorkshire tea bag bursting in a cup and then the lettuce thing, we were devastated. But then God seemed to answer our prayers and some lettuce turned up. Happy Christmas everyone"

[tamborine]

he hrld a lg bottle of vodka an slurred speech. My dogs were manic & I had to lock them up b4 I could get back to him. His white muslim clothes were soiled & stuck in brambles. Poor man.

[Muntin]

I would definitely like to give tambo B A for her reply just as soon as I have worked out the connection between an old couple nearly being without any lettuce over Christmas [of all times of the year] and an allegedly drunk Muslim interacting with her hedge. Any help out there?

[AuntLydia]

Drink.....?

[Mamyalynne]

Lettuce vodka?

[fiction-factory]

muntin- perhaps tambo saw the man kale over.

[Muntin]

I don't want to seem picky over this, but I happen to know from my sources in the news room that Mr and Mrs Lettuce [as they are now known in the neighbourhood] are life long teetotallers. Hence their distress over the Yorkshire tea bag incident. These things can really get to old people.

[tamborine]

I was so shocked at the man as he was old, that I blurted out here. Anyway, now he is in better hands than mine. I found his wallet but will give it to cops tomorrow.

[Mamyalynne]

Hope he recovers well.

[Muntin]

Leafing through the responses on this thread, I was disappointed at some of the heartless replies and limp lettucy jokes. I was hoping for some little gems of wisdom. But B A to tambo for dragging her Muslim into things, upholding a proud A B tradition 'a Muslim in every thread.'

[tamborine]

He was like a wet lettuce - happy now?