Who Is Going Too Give Ab Christmas Speach?

[TonyV]

Qestion on title

[Buenchico]

I'll make the speech. Here goes:

"Ladies and gentlemen . . .

(Er no, that can'r be right can it? It's not politically correct enough for some AB members. Let's try again:)

Ladies, women who don't like the term 'ladies', gentlemen, men who don't like the term 'gentlemen', transexuals, persons of undefined gender, persons of defined gender but who'd prefer not to say what it is and anyone else I've not mentioned yet. . .

(I think that's safe enough so far . . .)

. . . it gives me great pleasure to make this Christmas address to you.

(Er, hang on again. Is 'Christmas' politically correct these days. It certainly fails to include those of other religions, and those of none. Let's have another go:)

. . . it gives me great pleasure to make this Wintertide address to you . . .

(Hmmm. I think that's safe enough but perhaps some sensitive ABers might see my reference to 'pleasure' as sexually suggestive? . . . and I should I be mentioning an 'address' - perhaps some people will wonder if I'm intruding on their privacy by refer to anyone's address? Let's battle on anyway . . .)

. . . and to invite you to raise your glasses . . .

(Oops! Is that going to be offensive to people who're struggling with alcohol addition? Or, possibly, might a reference to 'glasses' be seen as offensive to those with visual handicaps? Let's bash on regardless though . . .)

. . . to toast the forthcoming new year.

(Should I have said 'toast' there? Might that not have upset people who struggling to stick to their diets and who'll now go and binge on toast and marmalade? Come to think of it, have we got any Chinese members here? They might object that their New Year isn't for ages yet. I'll have to keep going I think . . .)

The past year seems to have flown by . . .

(That seems safe enough, I think. Hang on again though. Why is everyone under the table, clutching a bottle of something and completely oblivious to what I'm saying? Can anyone lend me a corkscrew, please?)

Hic!

;-)

[mallyh]

oh yes !standing ovation xx

[TonyV]

Brilliant Chris

[Baldric]

Let's give it another go, shall we?

Who is going to give the AB Christmas Speech?

[Tilly2]

Speach, or preach, Tony?

[TonyV]

Phonetic spelling work perfectly if you are a dyslexic.
The dyslexic skiers couldn't deecide whether to zig zag or zag zig

[TonyV]

Tilly2 if you prefer a surmon, I sure a member will give you one. Xx

[douglas9401]

In keeping with tradition I think the speech should be given at 3PM by sp1814.

[bookbinder]

Is this going to take long? Only, the last tram goes in half an hour.

[shoota]

Are you on Blackpool prom BB?

[naomi24]

douglas, Brilliant! :o)

[bookbinder]

Yes, shoota, I am. It looks as if I'll have to sleep on my usual bench, again.

[TonyV]

Think Chris has it sorted Lynne

[Mamyalynne]

Pardon?

[TonyV]

Ok Lynne what time you giving your speech, before or after the Queen? Xx

[Mamyalynne]

Not quite sure where you are going with this, I hadn't been on this thread until you just mentioned me.

Yours - Confused of Bolton.