Frightened of ex partner!

[stressed out]

Had a text today from my ex's supposed ex partner. She told me that he and her had been having an affair since March. (Inbetween that time he's been coming back and staying with me acting like i'm the only one! And making excuses to go and visit the kids he has with her!).
Me and him also have a 2 and a half yr old son together and i am 4 months pregnant with the second!!! Obviously, i fell pregnant accidentally whilst i was under the impression he and i were an exclusive couple!!

Anyway, she told me that they had had a big row last night and that she kicked him out and that he was on the way to me and would be here tomorow!

Anyway, he just turned up an hour ago and has a set of my keys and tried to get into the flat but luckily i stayed quiet and had the latch on so he could'nt get in.. Whilst he was trying the lock i called the police but they took so ling to arrive that my ex left after 10 mins and they still were'nt here! When i told them i could have been raped or murdered they replied "Well you haven't have you?!"

Anyway, i have been advised to get locks changed tomorrow by council and they gave me a ref. number.

I am still frightened however that he may return and he is very violent towards me! I'm scared he may be slleping in his car round the corner and return in the morning before i have had a chance to get someone to come and change the locks!

I don't think i can sleep tonight but i'm so tired!

X

[aka pixi]

hi stressed, my heart goes out to you, I have been in the same situation more than once.

We have a 24 hour council emergency number, if you have one too ring it and explain the situation. As the police have given you a ref number they may hopefully come out within a few hours. In the meantime I would either stay in with the latch on or ring someone to either come and sit with you until the council come or take you somewhere you would feel safer then ask them to go back with you when the locks are being changed. (the council usually give you an idea of the time they will be coming out)

If this man comes back round trying to get in then phone the police immediately, use 999 not the local police station number.

I find the attitude of the police towards you appalling, they just dont seem to realise just how terrifying having an abusive partner is.

I wish you the best of luck in getting this sorted out.

Take care
xxx

[Eric Git]

Hi Stressed,
I don't know your financial situation, but why not call out a lock smith yourself, they can normally be there withinthe hour and the locks changed within ten minutes or so, I know this as I have done it myself, it cost around �70 but it was well worth it. You may be able to claim the money back from the council as you have a ref from the police and you feel that you are in danger.
I hope all works out well, phone friends and natter to try and take your mind of it.

Good luck

[country_boy]

Next time you call the police, say you are going to stab him if he comes in - they'll be round in minutes!

[stressed out]

Hi

Thanks for replies, police won't help unless he's violent with me or breaks door in.. 2 things that he defo will do!!

Anyway, i stayed upa ll night petrified he'd try the lock again, i found out that heslept in his car around the corner from me all night!
I called council about changing locks and they just gave me the run around and then one guy i spoke to asked me
to speak up as he could'nt hear me, saying that unless i spoke up they could'nt help me... Anyone who knows me knows i am loud and have a clear telephone voice!
Anyway i continued to tell him that he'd have to bear with me because i'd had no sleep the night before and my voice was croaky and i could'nt shout.. He then said that if i was going to be rude then he was'nt surprised no-one could help me with locks and that it was a favour being done for me and i'd have to speak to letting agent in a certain way!!!

I had'nt been rude up to this point but then he'd wound me up so much i told him to f off and hung the phone!!

When i rung someone else at the council she said that she doubted the guy had been rude and said that i had swore at him so they were not going to help me and it was my problem!!

I could'nt believe this!! I have to lick their ar5e5 so that they can do their job and help someone who's in danger of violence and who is pregnant and with a toddler in the home!!

I don't have money for a locksmith... i'm on benefits..

Now i have to stay in my flat with the door locked and the latch on 24 7 and know he will return later and do something to me!

[claireyfairy]

Ring the head of housing and explain everything to him/her from the beginning. Explain that yes you did loose your temper and that you regret it but it was a snap response to some very unhelpful people at their end. Explain that you are at home pregnant with a small child and that you are fearing for your safety. If he won't do anything then tell him you will be contacting the local paper!