is this a turning point?

[steve208]

Well I am up now and got my usual feeling of being very low. This is mostly because of my need to make some changes in my life.

My parents have gone away anhd i said to my mum that i would find some voluntary work and start doing some other things etc generaly being more proactive.

I have to be at home with my younger teenage brother for a week which is not great, would rather be on my own but hey.

Problem is that I want to use this week to be positive and make changes but have a side of me that wants to use it to explore my desires.

I keep looking at adult websites and have various desires i want to forfill, i didnt go to see an ex gf this weekend which is good! I know some people might just say well get a girlfriend but i know that it would not be fair to be with someone with the emotional ups and down's that i have at the moment.

I need to make this week a GOOD turning point not one where i make mistakes because of my desire then will end up being more down because i will regret it.

[violetblue]

Are you the same Steve that posted questions on the Jobs and Education section, that I answered? If so, I'd say you need to stop being a timewaster and do something useful, taking your brother with you. That's if you've reached the legal age of responsibility for looking after a child. It would appear not.

[nursecarla]

Steve i think its time to give yourself a shake to be blunt, why not look on job websites instead of adult ones? (sound like my bro :) ) the only person who can sort it is you and talking about wont do it, draw up a to do list, be positive. I suggest you find employment first before a girlfriend as you will not get the second untill you have the first xxxxxxxx

[steve208]

Huh?

Yes i am over 18 and so is my brother. I dont quite understand what you mean by take my brother with me.

I am sorry if you think i am a timewaster but i cant help that these issues come up. I am feeling very low at the moment in general and its very hard for me to make progress.

Yes i am the same person who posted about references the other day.

[steve208]

Thanks carla. Im not too bothered about a girlfriend at the moment.

I think my problem is that the approach i have is an al or nothing thing. That being that i am either very positive or very negative all the time cant seem to find a happy half point.

[~posy~]

hi steve!!
like carla says do a to do list, list the things that are the most important to you at the top and work your way down. then get it done!! like i said before i'm not frightened to come and find you and give you a kick up the bum!! lol!!
best of luck mate this is your week now use it!! xXx

p.s violetblue that was a bit harsh!

[mccfluff]

Hi Steve

the fact that you want to be positive and make changes is a good thing, but you have to put you ideas into practice, put you desires to one side for the moment, easier said than done i'm sure but you can do it, your proved that by not going to see your ex gf this weekend.
Instead of seeing looking after you bro as a negative thing, try to make it more positive, are their things you can do together, go out for the day or can he help you with your job search, just by involving him and if he is enthusiastic, this may help you with the way you are feeling. I realise that relationships between siblings can be fraught and this may not be an option, but please Steve get out there and DO the things your are saying you want to do, take care and good luck

[violetblue]

Steve, whenever there is reference to adult websites, my assummption is oh, no, here's another attention-seeker. You said that you were alone with your teenage brother, which implied that you had been left looking after him, which is why I suggested taking him along with you (otherwise you'd be neglecting him, wouldn't you?). I don't understand why the two (being proactive and exploring your desires) have to be mutually exclusive? We all 'explore our desires' as you say, but that doesn't mean you can't also do something to lift yourself out of your present state. I am speaking from experience! You need to get out of the house - why not make an appointment with Connexions, the Jobcentre, CVS etc? Good luck to you, I'm sorry, I didn't mean to sound negative. X

[steve208]

Thanks posy.

Its good to know i can come here and bounce my thought off you good people. I know that i should talk less and do more but i have always been one who thinks too much!.

Sorry about any typo's i have not had my strong coffee yet!

[steve208]

No no its ok violet.

I am not going to get my brother involved in anything of an adult nature that i do and to be honest i have not done anything as have just been looking at the sites. So I will give up the sites and find something else to occupy my mind when i get bord.

I have jobs to apply for and an interview for the civil service in a few weeks, also i do have a job even if i dont like it much! So i dont need to go to the job centre really but may phone or find other help thats avaliable.

Thank you.

[violetblue]

Good luck with it, Steve. Do you know that the Jobcentre do a service called Jobseeker Direct? I don't have the number but it's in the phone books. You register with them by phone, and tell them what you'd like to do. Then you can ring up any day and they tell you what they have that may be suitable; you can use it if you're wanting to change your job, you don't have to be unemployed. The reason I recommend this is that I used them when I was unemployed and they talk to you as long as you want, allowing you to chew things over, almost like a counselling service, and they make you feel much more positive afterwards. Its' an 0845 number, as I said, in the phonebook. Good luck again!