I Need Answers

[Raptocrone]

So here's the thing, i've seen all these controversy about the government wanting to Ban Abortion and People who disagree with it, but some people are saying that abortion is a cruel thing to do because it's killing a human being before they even born because of your own mistake, but than people ask what if they got raped? So the solution is either telling people not to be a rapist which is a good idea but wasn't really effective, or women can protect themselves by wearing an outfit that doesn't make them look attractive like the ones Muslim women use to wear, you don't see a lot of Muslim women got raped right?, But then again people started protesting about how men shouldn't be allowed to tell women what to wear it's like they've been given a solution but then they denied it and start making another problem with it, i just don't understand, do you have a better solution? Let me know

[nailit]

If you on about their previous abortions, then I didn't find out about them until well into our relationships.

[nailit]

And Ive never ***any of them off!

[Calicogirl]

You just said their abortions were done out of 'convenience' and expressed disdain for that. I suggested you might want to get to know them and their own personal moral code slightly better before sleeping with them in that case or not complain about it after the event if you can't be bothered to do that.
We're going out for Pizza so I won't be around to respond tonight x

[nailit]

//I suggested you might want to get to know them and their own personal moral code slightly better before sleeping with them//

Before sleeping with them???
We were friends and then dating long before having it off. Don't judge me by your own moral code. It was only (long) after the fact that I found out about the abortions.
Enjoy ur pizza.

[jim360]

// Don't judge me by your own moral code. //

What exactly do you think you've been doing this entire thread?

[Prudie]

Maybe it was the time of night but am shocked at the language used on this thread, repeated use of scraping out as though it were like picking a spot. I doubt there's hardly a woman who's had this procedure that hasn't carried the burden for life on some level.

[Calicogirl]

//Before sleeping with them???
We were friends and then dating long before having it off. Don't judge me by your own moral code. It was only (long) after the fact that I found out about the abortions.//

My moral code is not in question thanks very much Nailit, so whatever tacky little implication was hidden in there, missed the mark by miles, I'm not a very promiscuous person. I knew everything I needed to know about my husband before I slept with him including political, social attitudes and attitudes towards anything I feel strongly about, same with any other partners I've had and it never ceases to amaze me how people don't find these things out before embarking on relationships with people because, as you've found out, it's pretty important to know. It avoids the need to resort to the nasty terminology you used, as Prudie identified, about women you have been intimate with.
Mind you don't fall off your high horse as well, it's a long way down and you might crack your head.

[pixie374]

I just need to add... VE has taken one of my comments completely out of context and made it look different. The thread at the time was about morality and legality, hence the logical comparison to what we already do if people are on life support machines.
As far as I am concerned, there is a massive difference between a viable sentient foetus and an embryo.

[Cloverjo]

As nailit answered my question about whether he’d always used a condom, I’ll answer his.
//have you used the pill or the coil every time that you didn't want a pregnancy?//

No, not always. I had an unplanned pregnancy. I continued with the pregnancy despite having no money, no permanent home and a crap partner.
It was really tough.
My 27 year old son is now happy and successful. But it could easily have been so different. That is why I defend any woman’s right to terminate a pregnancy that she feels she can’t cope with, for whatever reason.

[pixie374]

I would also like to know which responsibilities that fathers should take on if they cause an unwanted pregnancy... at the moment, they don't even need to have access to their child if they don't want to. Should they be forced to live with the mother and child for 18 years too? Should they be charged with abandonment or neglect if they leave? Or is it just the mother that is responsible?

[Theland]

As I said earlier, there are no easy answers.
As a man, what right do I have to dictate to a woman about her own body?

As a paid up member of the human race, do I have the right to raise concerns about the termination of innocent life?

[vetuste_ennemi]

//I just need to add... VE has taken one of my comments completely out of context and made it look different...As far as I am concerned, there is a massive difference between a viable sentient foetus and an embryo//

I apologise, Pixie. I rankled (too easily it now appears) at the term "life-support machine".

[woofgang]

"Calico...I was tricked into having a child that I made known that I didn't want. Never wanted a child or family. "

Nailit if you had made yourself responsible for the contraception then you couldn't have been tricked.

[nailit]

//"Calico...I was tricked into having a child that I made known that I didn't want. Never wanted a child or family. "

Nailit if you had made yourself responsible for the contraception then you couldn't have been tricked. //

Its almost as if I hadn't been deceived by the mother??

[woofgang]

deceit or not, my comment stands.

[nailit]

//my comment stands.//
And so does mine.

[Calicogirl]

You didn't bother to use contraception though yourself Nailit, so why is it the woman's fault, whether she lied or not, it's fairly and squarely something you could have prevented had you taken responsibility for your own fertility.

[woofgang]

Calico, I am not sure we will get far (anywhere) on this one.

[andy-hughes]

I have always thought that abortion is a choice, and it is a hugely difficult choice.

Part of giving people a freedom is that, by definition, you have to vie it to everyone, even if it is reasonable to judge that the individual is not capable of using that choice wisely, or even thinking or caring about it at all.

That is the price to be paid for freedom, it has to belong to everyone, regardless of the opinions of others on how they choose to use it.

My own view is that no woman undertakes an abortion lightly, I don't subscribe to the notion of 'abortion as contraception' because I believe that any woman who starts a pregnancy is emotionally affected by the experience, and their choice in how it ends.

I also believe categorically that the choice to undergo an abortion is entirely the choice of the woman involved. Only she has the right to make the ultimate decision about something that affects her life for ever in a way it cannot affect anyone else at all.

The notion of a stranger, or strangers, especially men, having the power to decide the future of a woman's life in their hands is to live at the pinnacle of arrogance and moral bankruptcy, and it has no place in a civilised society.