Quizzes & Puzzles1 min ago
WHATS YOUR FAVIORET JOKES
17 Answers
WHATS YOUR FAVIORET JOKES
Answers
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... A grade school teacher gives the assignment to her class, that each
student should think of a story with a moral to share with the class.
The following day, all students tell stories with morals like
"Don't keep all your eggs in one basket."
Finally it's little Johnny's turn and he says,
"My uncle Ted fought in the Vietnam war, and his plane was shot down over
enemy territory. He jumped out before it crashed with only a machine gun,
a machete, and a bottle of whiskey.
On the way down he drank the bottle of whiskey.
Unfortunately, he landed right in the middle of 100 Vietnamese soldiers.
He shot 70 with his machine gun, then he ran out of bullets, so he pulled
out his machete and killed 20 more. The blade on his machete broke, so he
strangled the last ten with his bare hands."
The teacher looks in shock at Johnny and asks, "What possible moral
could this story have?"
Johnny replies, "Don't f*ck with uncle Ted when he's been drinking."
A priest is called to talk a guy down from the london eye (ferris wheel). He is suicidal and wants to jump.
Priest says..ok son what the matter perhaps if u let me know i can help.
Its the wife says the jumper....she is driving me mad...nag nag nag.
Ok. son, i have my mobile phone here give me her number. I'll talk with her.
Now I want u to promise me that u won't do anything silly while I'm talking with her.
O.K. father says the jumper ...I promise.
30 minutes later the priest has finished the call and shouts up to the guy.
I've spent the last 30 minutes talking to ur wife.
And? says the guy expectantly...
And says the priest ur better off jumping.
what does DNA stand for?
National Association for Dyslexics
A guy walks into a bar with a dog listening to a walkman, the bar man says what your dog doing? the guy replies hes listening to the old firm match, next thing the dog starts doing back flips, the bar man asks whats he doing? the man said Larsson has scored, he checked teletext it was right, the the dog started chasing his tail, the bar man said what he doing now? the man answered Sutton has scored! he checked teletext and yup you guessed it Sutton had scored. the barman then asked what does he do when Rangers score? the man replied i dunno ive only had him a year!! Not exactly my fave as you can guess by my name, but hey it was funny!
An old woman is talking to her old pal"Just been reading a magazine Betty, And did you know that as you get older, your Fanny gets bigger?"
Betty doesn't believe her friend, but can't get the thought out of her mind, so rushes home for a quick swifty.
Betty arrives home, runs up to the bathroom and pulls the round mirror off the wall and places it on the floor.
So Betty pulls her old bloomers off and squats over the mirror, Just as her hubby was walking by. So, in her husband runs and throwsher out the way.
"You daft get, you could've broke my arm there" says Betty
"You would've broke your neck if you fell down there" said her hubby
Old woman in a lift, in walks an immaculately turned out young woman, smelling beautiful, who sneers at the old woman"Chanel No 5, �100 an ounce"
Next floor, another young woman, similarly dressed to the first walks in, sneers at the old woman"Opium, �150 an ounce"
The next floor the old woman is ready to leave the lift, when she lifts one leg, and lets out a relly stinking fart, and sneers at the two girls"Cabbage, 69p a pound
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