He finished it and I can't accept his excuse

[sylviaz]

My boyfriend broke up with me over a year ago because he said he didn't want a girlfriend as he felt he would always be worrying about me, where I was, what I was doing etc. When he finished with me he was really nasty and treated me really badly, called me all sorts of names and I hadn't even done anything wrong. He was not like this before. All I did was tell him I cared about him. Both his fiance's in the past cheated on him and slept with another man, but I was always faithful to him. I think I pushed him over the edge when I told him I loved him, because he became really abusive towards me. Anytime I see him he is always nasty to me, yet I hear from people who know him that he never stops talking about me, like he's obsessed. I tried to understand him and dismiss his behaviour as psychological trauma from his past, but I can't help wondering why he's being so cold towards me. He's totally broken my heart.

[4getmenot]

Sounds like he's made his choice and theres not much you can do hun, just get on and get over him because until he grows up and realises that all women are like his ex's then he's not worth worrying yourself over. Have you ever listened to the song 'That wasnt me' by Martina McBride perfect song about the same situation.

[4getmenot]

Sorry meant to put that NOT all women are like his exs :-) duh

[jno]

the good news is, not all men are like him, either. So put him behind you and don't be afraid to love again.

[Le Chat]

He sounds like a jerk and you are much the richer for not having him in your life!!!

[twain11]

I'm an idiot but this fella sounds like a proper tw*t. Forget him, you will do eventually, and you will meet someone better i can assure you. If not, you can punch me in the face.

[WaldoMcFroog]

Your question has reminded me of a girl I used to flatshare with.

She would go out with blokes - nice ones for the most part - and spend her entire time being suspicious about them and whinging to me and our other flatmates that she knew they were going to treat her badly. Consequently, she was a cow to them. When they inevitably broke up, it proved she was right to be suspicious.

She never did work out the flaw in that argument...

I suspect your ex has probably got similar problems. He associates being loved with being hurt, so he pushes you away. At the same time, he's a normal human being and of course he craves love.

It maybe that he's too screwed up to sort this out and you need to accept that. On the other hand, you need to go and see him and have this thing out with him, all cards on the table. You need to tell him that if he wants you he can have you (if that's what you want), but only if he gets over what other people have done to him and stops being such a tw@ to you. You are not those other girls.

If he can't accept that, you need to do yourself a favour, chalk it up to experience and move on.

[sylviaz]

Thanks for the supportive comments peeps, I really appreciate it! :)