Is My Wife Having An Affair?

[Ploppy1999]

My wife decided to play match maker with her work mate (male) and our school friend, i thought it was a nice idea and didn't think anything more of it. I found out since that they have been texting each other every day, she set the date up and it went well but they too have developed a friendship. When i found out that they were sending messages to each other every day 6/7am right through until 11/12pm i got a little upset. I don't know this work mate nor have never met him. My wife assures me she loves me and isn't having an affair but she refuses to place any boundies. I don't like it and asked he behaves like a normal friend and keep to solically acceptable times, i don't want to tell her who she can and can't be friends with but it just feels wierd that a man i don't know is messaging my wife every day. I asked he stop whilst we were on holiday and she didn't stop him, so when a message came in at 11.30pm i got cross and replied on her phone demanding he stop. my wife got mad with me for ruining her solical life. the messages calmed down for a few weeks but its started again, now my wife has turned her phone onto silent or she will hide it thinking i won't notice. I've read a few messages when she's gone to bed and it is just friendly chat.. he tries to flirt but i can see she ignores it. My wife goes to the gym with her mother every friday whilst i stay home with the children the last message is on about him joining the same gym. I don't want to fall out with my wife, i feel my paranoia could be making things worse but i just want it to stop. should i be this worried?

[spathiphyllum]

"I'm not understanding either and seems that neither is Jackthehat!"

JackTheHat knows full well what i mean, and where I'm coming from.

[Rockrose]

Anyhooo back to the OP

Your wife is not having an affair.
You need to either discuss this with her seriously or forget about it.

[spathiphyllum]

"Your wife is not having an affair. "

RockRose has no idea if she is or isn't. She has no idea who your wife is. She thinks your wife has a right to be constantly messaging men who fancy her. She works with this man, most of her time is spent with him at work, before and after work she feels it's necessary to be texting him still. Her attention isn't with you. It's with this man. To me, that is cheating. If she isn't cheating, then she is leading this man on. We know he fancies her, you've see the flirtatious texts. Both are almost as bad as each other as a married women.

You definitely need to talk to her.

[Rockrose]

Plopped I can only talk from my experience of being married longer than some Abers have been alive.

[spathiphyllum]

And from her exsperience.. she thinks..

"I think it is you with the problem, there is no affair going on here, you are just jealous!!
Grow up!"

I feel sorry for her husband if that's how she'd respond to him querying her situation texting men who fancy her.

[Rockrose]

Carry on Spath you are just proven what a problem you have.

[spathiphyllum]

That's a bit off topic.

I find it odd you'd give advice to Ploppy that you wouldn't give to your own husband.. Especially as you're talking from the experience you've lived.

Or would you say that to your husband like you did Ploppy for querying the situation??