Should I Join My High School Marching Band Or Focus On Myself/school?

[Pupper7250]

Hi, I was part of my high school marching band and will be going into my 3rd year of high school. Ive been part of the band since freshman year because my cousin and sibling were in it (they've graduated). During the summer we have practices that I haven't attended because 1) I forgot about them 2) I wanted to focus on my mental health. You see, the band is a second family to me, I love everyone there very much. However I also don't like it. There is alot of commitment and our teacher believes that band is top priority : over family events (other than emergencies), school, and work. There had been many instances that students were threatened to be kicked out if they had to miss out on a competition because of work, family, or school.

Why am I asking for help? Well, I want to join the band. If I don't, it'll feel like I'm missing an important piece of me. The band has become something very important to my life, it's part of my whole world and I feel like I'd be betraying everyone. Yet, I have a feeling if I do join, I'm gonna want to shoot myself. It's the feeling of if someone told me to play for band, I'd say shoot me During the past 2 years I've been in it, I've had some dark times that I'm wish I didn't have. It had gotten me to hate music for some time and made me want to commit suicide because I couldn't keep up with everything that was happening around me. Another problem is that I'd be behind a lot because I haven't practiced since I didn't attend practices. I don't think that my instructor would mind too much but the teacher would be semi-angry.

I made my teacher sound like a bad guy, he isn't really He just is a hard head. He's the kind of guy who believes women should be in the kitchen but he cares for his students. He says that he understand that's family comes first and band isn't our whole life but he really doesn't understand. He's sacrificed alot of his time for the band and expects his students to do the same.

I had been thinking of another option for some time but im too scared to speak to our teacher about it: I wanted to speak to my teacher about paying our marching band fee (120$) to participate in helping out the band at their competitions (takes pictures, give the members food/water, etc) and to get transportation to-from competitions.

But at the same time, I want to learn the music their learning. I've heard it before and it sounds so much fun.

Please, tell me your opinions

[Old_Geezer]

Wow, that's a lot of text. I'll read it in a moment, but having read the title, why can't you fit more than one thing into your life, as others do ?

[Old_Geezer]

Or find a less competitive band to join & enjoy. No point in being permanently stressed out.

[Peter Pedant]

yes join your school's marching band

[scorpiojo]

//and made me want to commit suicide because I couldn't keep up with everything that was happening around me//
No, don't join the band. Focus on your mental health, school work and family.

[MallyJ]

The band has not helped your mental health and as you progress through school the demands on your time from the academic side of school will become greater. Having already had some mental health issues it would seem sensible to concentrate on your academic work. Having said that there is probably several ways to continue learning music but not in such a high powered way...for example lessons with a teacher or a more (for us in the UK anyway) ordinary, sit on a chair ,to play band (this would mean you don't have to march around a lot and avoid falling over your colleagues!)

[Pupper7250]

Thank you all for answering. The reasons why I cannot join a concert band at my school is because we don't have enough students. During the fall we have marching/field competition than in the spring we have concert band.

[fiction-factory]

Times have certainly changed . I don't remember anyone when I was at school ever saying "I [want] to focus on my mental health". Perhaps people just hid their issues.
Anyway, do what you enjoy. There's plenty of time to do this and schoolwork- and it'll help you avoid all the timewasting activities young people have always been tempted by and now seem even more prevalent.

If you can't decide there is a school of thought that you should just toss a coin and go with the decision rather than worrying too much about which decision to make

[waterboatman]

You're the only one that can decide.
But my opinion is that you should give it a miss and concentrate on your studies. Much more important.