Visiting Graves...each To Their Own

[nailit]

My mums brother died early this morning. Mum obviously distraught and facing the prospect of her own death and she being the last of 5 siblings.
Just been on the phone to my son to inform him of his (great) uncles passing. Ended up having a conversation about cremation v burial.

Turned out that we had some differences in out preferred method of body disposal. (Not something that we had ever discussed before)

My son thought that burial was best as surviving relatives had a place to continue to 'pay respects' (whatever that means)

I, personally, find something morbid about continuing visiting graves of deceased loved ones.
My own father is buried and the only time that I have visited his grave is with my mum. And that's only to support my mum, otherwise I wouldn't go.
(my mums own wishes are to be cremated)

I can see arguments for both sides, but my preferred method (between the two) would be cremation and let the survivors get on with their life and not keep on having to visit the site of, what is essentially, a rotting corpse.

Burial or cremation?

[Mamyalynne]

Sounds fitting Douglas.

Condolences to you Nailit on the death of your Uncle.

[237SJ]

When I was a child we spent half of our time playing in the churchyard. We had a fantastic time. There was nothing morbid about it at all.

[fender62]

my mum wanted to be cremated, but also have her ashes buried in her mothers grave, so i dug a small hole, and poured her ashes in.

[retrocop]

Wife and I just happy to be BBQued. No service at Crem.
A very good friend of ours had her husband's body placed in a wicker coffin (not cheap but biodegradeable). She managed to buy a plot in a Arboretum in Nottingham and planted a tree on top of his plot.Good plan. One life goes and gives life by fertilising a tree to give oxygen of life. Well that's the theory.

[Barmaid]

As a family historian/genealogist I love visiting graves. It's a connection with the past I didn't know which is almost tangible.

However, my grandfather recently died and was cremated. I gave the eulogy. My expressed view was that he lives on in our hearts and minds and there should be no sobbing at a stone memorial.

Interesting question though, Nailit.

[Ken4155]

I have expressed my wish to be cremated rather than buried and for my ashes to be scattered on Pendle Hill. I feel guilty if i haven't visited my parents grave for a few months and i don't want to guilt-trip my lot after i've gone. Besides which, no matter where you are in Burnley, if the skies are clear you can always see Pendle. So i would never be far from their thoughts.

[hereIam]

Both my beloved parents were cremated and we put entries into the remembrance book for them, but I like to visit the cemetery on their respective anniversaries as it is so peaceful and I actually like going there. We have an old family grave where my great grandparents are buried and I place flowers on there. Just been recently for Mum's third anniversary. I too wish to be cremated.