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My strong opinion on single parents and parents and kids in general
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I have reached the ripe old age of 44 and decided a while ago that I did not want any children. My partner feels the same (thankfully )and we are both healthy and happy. Some people will consider this a selfish attitude, but my views are that when there are so many children out there who are born, only to be beaten and abused, perhaps people should turn their attention to these rather than us intentionally childless couples
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And why oh why do some people think that they can have as many children as they want and the state will support them with limitless amounts of cash. I would like to see the state giving child support just to the first two kids and then parent(s) will have to support any further children they decide to have on their own. If you feel that you can afford to have more, then pay for them yourself!!
I know that some people would feel that it is unfair not to support unplanned pregnancies, but given advances in medical science, I consider that no one has to have any unplanned children if you really do not want them, as I have managed not to in my time!
Also I think we should stop calling women left holding the baby, single mothers and perhaps start using the term absent fathers, after all they are still out there somewhere and happily not bothering to pay any child support!
I realise my views are very simplistic and may offend some people, especially those who find themselves in a situation that has not been self inflicted and I apologise to them in advance!
What does everyone else think, do you agree with my views or disagree?
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And why oh why do some people think that they can have as many children as they want and the state will support them with limitless amounts of cash. I would like to see the state giving child support just to the first two kids and then parent(s) will have to support any further children they decide to have on their own. If you feel that you can afford to have more, then pay for them yourself!!
I know that some people would feel that it is unfair not to support unplanned pregnancies, but given advances in medical science, I consider that no one has to have any unplanned children if you really do not want them, as I have managed not to in my time!
Also I think we should stop calling women left holding the baby, single mothers and perhaps start using the term absent fathers, after all they are still out there somewhere and happily not bothering to pay any child support!
I realise my views are very simplistic and may offend some people, especially those who find themselves in a situation that has not been self inflicted and I apologise to them in advance!
What does everyone else think, do you agree with my views or disagree?
Answers
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I had the same point of view as Sue a few years ago - i certainly didn't want children - i used to run and hide in the loos at work when people brought their new babies in for everyone to gush over.
When i got pregnant unintentionally i fully expected to have a termination but the love and total support of my partner (now husband) encouraged me to go through with it. I still didn't feel maternal and went back to work fulltime when my daughter was 12 weeks old. I then had baby number 2 as i thought i ought to be a 'family'. I still went back to work fulltime as i really felt motherhood wasn't for me.
It meant so much to my husband, who is Catholic, to have children and as he is such an excellent father I went on to have baby number 3 and 4. I still work 2 days a week and I don't have pictures of my children everywhere as i still don't feel like a 'proper' mum. It is my husband who has the 'maternal' streak in him.
However, children have a funny way of making you fall in love with them - and love is one thing that i can provide in bucketloads.
I have equally strong views on people who 'choose' to only have one child - but then thats for another thread!
When i got pregnant unintentionally i fully expected to have a termination but the love and total support of my partner (now husband) encouraged me to go through with it. I still didn't feel maternal and went back to work fulltime when my daughter was 12 weeks old. I then had baby number 2 as i thought i ought to be a 'family'. I still went back to work fulltime as i really felt motherhood wasn't for me.
It meant so much to my husband, who is Catholic, to have children and as he is such an excellent father I went on to have baby number 3 and 4. I still work 2 days a week and I don't have pictures of my children everywhere as i still don't feel like a 'proper' mum. It is my husband who has the 'maternal' streak in him.
However, children have a funny way of making you fall in love with them - and love is one thing that i can provide in bucketloads.
I have equally strong views on people who 'choose' to only have one child - but then thats for another thread!
Many many thanks to all those who responded to my question. I reaslised when I posted this question that it was very emotive and likely to invoke a strong response, but I have been surprised by how considered and thought provoking your responses have been! Aliceband, Mycats and Harriman, I just wanted to particularly mention you all as I completely have respect for the way you have handled your situations, I wish you all well.
The only person who seems to have taken real offence to my question is Maxi29. Maxi 29, I do disagree with your comments that we should all support endless childbearing regardless of the circumstances. I don't think it is shameful for wanting people to try to support themselves where ever possible in this world and I think the shame lies with you if you think we all should!!
I do agree that innocent children should not suffer because of irresponsible parenting, but where do you draw the line? Perhaps better education is the answer and that really should come from the parents!
The only person who seems to have taken real offence to my question is Maxi29. Maxi 29, I do disagree with your comments that we should all support endless childbearing regardless of the circumstances. I don't think it is shameful for wanting people to try to support themselves where ever possible in this world and I think the shame lies with you if you think we all should!!
I do agree that innocent children should not suffer because of irresponsible parenting, but where do you draw the line? Perhaps better education is the answer and that really should come from the parents!
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