Consistently Inconsistent.

[david small]

Had this forwarded to me today.
Just so everyone’s clear:
* 4 year olds can go to school, but university students who have paid for the tuition they haven’t had and the accommodation they aren’t living in, can’t go to university.
* A teacher can go to school with many 4 year olds that they are not related to, but can’t see one 4 year old that they are related to.
* You can sit in a park, but not today or Tuesday but by Wednesday that’ll be fine.
* You can meet one person from another household for a chat or to sunbathe, but not two people so if you know two people from another household you have to pick your favourite. Hopefully, you’re also their favourite person from your household or this could be awkward. But possibly you’re not. But as I can’t go closer than 2m to the one you choose anyway you wouldn’t think having the other one sat next to them would matter - unless two people would restrict your eyeline too much and prevent you from being alert.
* You can work all day with your colleagues, but you can’t sit in their garden for a chat after work.
* You can now do unlimited exercise when quite frankly just doing an hour a day feels like you are some kind of fitness guru. I can think of lots of things that I would like to be unlimited but exercise definitely isn’t one of them.
* You can drive to other destinations, although which destinations is unclear.
* The buses are still running past your house, but you shouldn’t get on one. We should just let empty buses drive around so bus drivers aren’t doing nothing.
* It will soon be time to quarantine people coming into the country by air... but not yet. It’s too soon. And not ever if you’re coming from France because... well, I don’t know why, actually. Because the French version of coronavirus wouldn’t come to the UK maybe.
* Our youngest children go back to school first because... they are notoriously good at not touching things they shouldn’t, maintain personal space at all times and never randomly lick you.
* We are somewhere in between 3.5 and 4.5 on a five point scale where 5 is all of the virus and 1 is none of the virus but 2,3 and 4 can be anything you’d like it to be really. Some of the virus? A bit of the virus? Just enough virus to see off those over 70s who were told to self isolate but now we’ve realised that they’ve done that a bit too well despite us offloading coronavirus patients into care homes and now we are claiming that was never said in the first place, even though it’s in writing in the stay at home guidance.
* The slogan isn’t stay at home any more, so we don’t have to stay at home. Except we do. Unless we can’t. In which case we should go out. But there will be fines if we break the rules. So don’t do that.
Don’t forget...
Stay alert... which Robert Jenrick has explained actually means Stay home as much as possible. Obviously.
Control the virus. Well, I can’t even control my cats and I can actually see them. Plus I know a bit about cats and very little about controlling viruses.
Save lives. Always preferable to not saving lives, I’d say, so I’ll try my best with that one, although hopefully I don’t need telling to do that. I know I’m bragging now but not NOT saving lives is something I do every day.
So there you are. If you’re the weirdo wanting unlimited exercise then enjoy. But not until Wednesday. Obviously.

[diddlydo]

Lady J - nobody in your family is allowed to visit you in your house. You can only meet them one at a time in a park/public open space. That's one reason why the new rules are completely bonkers.

[theshedman]

diddly you more or less said that I had lied and I would just like you to admit you were wrong. Nothing twisted. I was brought up to respect my elders but you are making it hard to do.

[Zacs-Master]

I’m pretty sure that if a husband and wife wanted to meet up with their son and his wife, you could all sit round in a park and observe the 2.0m distancing (Or a little more if you feel that’s appropriate) and no one could do anything about it.

Whether you think this is a good or bad thing is a moot point.

[lady-janine]

diddly we can all meet in the garden and stay well apart. They could all camp in the garden and stay well apart. Garden is bigger than local park it is the distance travelled that is the problem. but now they can travel any distance but not stay in public place. my home is not a public place but they have to travel 260+ miles to get here which wasn't allowed but it seems it now is.

[vulcan42]

diddlydo, a near neighbour of mine has four married children and each couple have two children, that's a total of 17 people meeting and trying to keep 6 feet apart.

[lady-janine]

Vulcan that's a lot of distance when handing out the tea and cakes.

[TheDevil]

Considering most of this is false info, don't you think it should be in jokes instead of chatterbank?

[lady-janine]

Daughter has been very ill with virus which she caught at work as insufficient ppe and other protection. she is classed as an essential worker but not given protection. This and people allowed into the country without checks should be remedied and should have been stopped immediately we (as a country) were aware of the virus and not half-heartedly months afterwards.

[diddlydo]

Lady J - take a peek at the latest advice to the police re not visiting people's homes (3rd column, top with a red cross beside it)
https://www.college.police.uk/What-we-do/COVID-19/understanding-the-law/Documents/Health-Protection-Regulations-Amendments-England-changes-130520.pdf

[Zacs-Master]

Police are unable to enforce social distancing:
https://www.yorkshireeveningpost.co.uk/news/crime/police-told-no-powers-enforce-social-distancing-yorkshire-new-guidelines-2851572

[lady-janine]

Thanks for that diddly. that means they can all visit with the intention of taking care of me or OH who has had a couple of heart attacks.

[teacake44]

Any effort individual families make in social distancing will be obliterated each day by the increasing numbers of people crammed on tube trains, and buses, like sardines in a tin, with make shift face masks, (cut up tee shirts) if they can't get other. In my view we are just going to end up back at square one. Germany have already seen an increase since relaxing the lockdown. We were doing ok until these ill thought out back to work plans came in at a moments notice. Again preparation amounts to none for the plan to work.

[fiction-factory]

>Again preparation amounts to none for the plan to work.

I accept there is an issue with public transport- hopefully the London Mayor can do more to improve things- but in all other respect lots of guidance notes have been produced for employers in different industries on steps they need to take.