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internet porn
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not sure if this the right forum but here goes. i would like to know how people think they might feel if their partner was accessing porn sites on the net despite you asking them not to? then attempting to remove it from the history so you cannot find out.
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I think if its just ordinary porn, whats the harm? I wouldnt ask them not to in the first place.
On the other hand, if its really excessive and they are spending a long time on it and neglecting you as a result then you have every right to be annoyed.
If you are making this person feel ashamed of what they are doing, then they will be very secretive. Have you thought about saying to your partner that if its that interesting, you want to have a look too?
My niece is ruining her relationship with her boyfriend of 4 years because she is flipping out over a Jenna Jamieson dvd she found under his bed, its a sad situation.
On the other hand, if its really excessive and they are spending a long time on it and neglecting you as a result then you have every right to be annoyed.
If you are making this person feel ashamed of what they are doing, then they will be very secretive. Have you thought about saying to your partner that if its that interesting, you want to have a look too?
My niece is ruining her relationship with her boyfriend of 4 years because she is flipping out over a Jenna Jamieson dvd she found under his bed, its a sad situation.
Interesting that some people think there's a clear definition of what's 'ordinary porn' and what's 'perverted porn' but there you go... Assuming we're talking about males here, basically they all like porn and will all be accessing some kind of erotica if they have internet. A bit sweeping but generally true. I guess the message is: get used to it. Harmless and normal in 99% of cases.
I would never ask somebody not to browse porn online. If they enjoy looking at porn then I wouldn't want to take away their fun, or chance having them go behind my back! Anyhow, it would be very hypocritical of me because I love it myself!!
Sex chat rooms would bother me though. I wouldn't want to know that my partner is flirting with another woman.
As Ali says, so long as it is not having a detrimental effect on your sex life then what's the problem?
Sex chat rooms would bother me though. I wouldn't want to know that my partner is flirting with another woman.
As Ali says, so long as it is not having a detrimental effect on your sex life then what's the problem?
If your problem is not p*rn, but your relationship, then this is a different question. But asusming it's not and that you just don't like p*rn, if you've asked them not to look at it, it must be quite a big thing. Regardless of what other people might think on the matter, you are entitled to your opinion on this.
If you have asked your partner not to look at it, I suspect this is because you have a BIG problem. At this point, you are asking someone else to change their life choices because of your views and I hope you have not made this decision lightly.
But if you have thought it through, decided you do have a big problem with it, asked your partner not to, and your partner has agreed to this, him/her going against their word (not sure if your partner is male or female- not that it makes a difference, am just trying to use the right grammar) is an abuse of your trust. The fact that they have tried to hide that fact, means that they know this.
Of course, if partner never actually said they would stop looking at p*rn, then hiding the internet history is them trying to protect you from this issue. And them from the argument.
Either way, I would think the best course of action is to sit down with them and tell them that you know they have looked at p*rn when you have asked them not to, and that you are hurt by this.
If partner had agreed to not look at it, you need t address the issue that perhaps p*rn is a bigger part of his/her life than they first thought when they said they would be fine to go without. Although it could be that perhaps they didn't realise you have as strong feelings about it, as you do. In which case you need to reiterate those.
cont
If you have asked your partner not to look at it, I suspect this is because you have a BIG problem. At this point, you are asking someone else to change their life choices because of your views and I hope you have not made this decision lightly.
But if you have thought it through, decided you do have a big problem with it, asked your partner not to, and your partner has agreed to this, him/her going against their word (not sure if your partner is male or female- not that it makes a difference, am just trying to use the right grammar) is an abuse of your trust. The fact that they have tried to hide that fact, means that they know this.
Of course, if partner never actually said they would stop looking at p*rn, then hiding the internet history is them trying to protect you from this issue. And them from the argument.
Either way, I would think the best course of action is to sit down with them and tell them that you know they have looked at p*rn when you have asked them not to, and that you are hurt by this.
If partner had agreed to not look at it, you need t address the issue that perhaps p*rn is a bigger part of his/her life than they first thought when they said they would be fine to go without. Although it could be that perhaps they didn't realise you have as strong feelings about it, as you do. In which case you need to reiterate those.
cont
cont...
You need to see if there is any middle ground as relationships are all about compromise. Though if your feelings are that strong then I suspect there is not.
If that is the case and your partner won't give it up, you have to decide if you want to stay in the relationship knowing the facts as they are. There is also the trust issue to address - if he/she says they won't look at it again, do you actually believe them on this?
It's a toughie. But don't forget you are entitled to your opinion on this regardless of what other people might think on the matter - although take some comfort in that you are not alone in your view point, even if it's not the majority opinion.
However, your partner is also entitled to a view point. Asking them to give it up is quite extreme but if it means a lot to you, then you do what you have to do to make yourself happy. Although you also have to respect that your partner may have the same thoughts that p*rn makes him happy. At that point, you both have to make some decisions about what's most important to you both.
Good luck!!
You need to see if there is any middle ground as relationships are all about compromise. Though if your feelings are that strong then I suspect there is not.
If that is the case and your partner won't give it up, you have to decide if you want to stay in the relationship knowing the facts as they are. There is also the trust issue to address - if he/she says they won't look at it again, do you actually believe them on this?
It's a toughie. But don't forget you are entitled to your opinion on this regardless of what other people might think on the matter - although take some comfort in that you are not alone in your view point, even if it's not the majority opinion.
However, your partner is also entitled to a view point. Asking them to give it up is quite extreme but if it means a lot to you, then you do what you have to do to make yourself happy. Although you also have to respect that your partner may have the same thoughts that p*rn makes him happy. At that point, you both have to make some decisions about what's most important to you both.
Good luck!!
I'm male and would not be with a woman who thought it was ok to dictate what I may and may not view ( as long as the other posters have said it's not illegal or immoral).
The fact that he's hiding his browsing implies that he knows this will be a great big deal, so he feels under pressure from you. That is a really unhealthy sign in a relationship so address it and let him understand that he's free to do as he pleases in this regard. Just relax, porn is no threat to you, let him browse without feeling he has to cover it up, it's normal, natural and perfectly harmless.
The fact that he's hiding his browsing implies that he knows this will be a great big deal, so he feels under pressure from you. That is a really unhealthy sign in a relationship so address it and let him understand that he's free to do as he pleases in this regard. Just relax, porn is no threat to you, let him browse without feeling he has to cover it up, it's normal, natural and perfectly harmless.
The only time I would have a problem with Mr P looking at porn (internet or otherwise) is if it were replacing our sex life. This can quite often happen if a person is denied their freedom in accessing porn.
You may well find that he doesn't want to look at it so much if you are more relaxed about it ~ you never know, he might be doing it so much because you are telling him not to?
You may well find that he doesn't want to look at it so much if you are more relaxed about it ~ you never know, he might be doing it so much because you are telling him not to?
Thank you for taking the time to reply. i agree, it's his choice but i have asked my partner not to as we have a son who is 14 years old, and a whiz with the computer, and who may come across it, as i mentioned, my partner attempts to remove it from the history but it sometimes remains in the address bar. i don't know how to remove it and the only person nearby that will know is my son, i darn't ask him as he will offer to do it for me. our relationship is ok physically, we row a bit like most people but never about the physical side of our relationship. I should have the view that if the porn pumps up the tyres at least I get to ride the bike(ooh vicar) thanx again to all, in the meantime if any one can suggest how to remove the website from the address bar a would be very greatful.
hi saxo_boi, i cannot think of anything i'd rather not do more, than look at pictures of other girls' bits + bobs in upside down inside out positions, and same sex stuff does nothing for me either. The stuff he views are pics not films. we have films which i have no problem with as they out of reach from my son. any way thanx. still no suggestions on how to rid the address bar of the web page?
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