Lockdown Alone

[seanne]

A friend I met through church was calling me every day and texting. All of a sudden it's stopped. She's saying she doesnt live in people's pockets. I've tried to get an explanation but she's pretty much closed off. It's been very upsetting for me as I have been experiencing depression. When we chatted it was very much lightheated and she'd say I cheered her up. I'm at a loss

[Bobbisox1]

Look at this as her not being a ‘ friend’ in the first place I’m afraid because a friend doesn’t do this, you’ve obviously got the internet so can you download Zoom or Skype to keep you in touch with others?

[seanne]

Yes Bobbi I'm beginning to see that

[Bobbisox1]

Are you able to go out ?

[bednobs]

maybe she's been experiencing depression too and for whatever reason can't support you at the moment?

[seanne]

Yes I can go out but I don't have many friends. I have alot of aquaintences

[Bobbisox1]

That’s indicative of the real world, we can count friends on one hand but would need a calculator for acquaintances,

[ummmm]

I was going to say the same as bednobs.

It's hard to prop up other people when you're having a hard time yourself. Doesn't mean she's any less a friend.

[ducksie]

I think your friend is going through a tough time, lockdown alone is hard going and as bednobs and ummm have said,she too may be going through some hard times, lockdown is not a jolly good holiday,maybe she is such a good friend she is trying not to burden you with her woes knowing that you have a depression, small worries get magnified in these situations, give her time to get through this, ye met through church so she is obviously a very good living person. Have patience and try see life through her eyes, it is not easy for anyone

[bednobs]

https://www.theanswerbank.co.uk/ChatterBank/Question1707515.html
Perhaps she feels the same way you felt about the person in this post, and is doing what you did (ignoring your messages etc). Perhaps she does not have the strength you had to tell you you are not on the same wavelength?
In any case, there is not much you can do to change someone else

[ducksie]

Ooooh dear ... not that makes me think different of the op.. thanks Bednobs :)

[LadyCG]

Lockdown is rubbish and it's even worse when you are in plaster and can't take care of your own child, but I wouldn't say it's getting to me (apart from my loss of mobility) as I spend quite a bit of time on here and there are always loads of conversations you can join in.

There are always people on here willing to listen, help and give practical advice.

As for your friend - probably not a friend in the truest sense - she might not be able to cope with someone else's emotions at present. She might find it too draining. If you are feeling bereft over her sudden absence, perhaps you were getting too emotionally attached and that's what has caused her to back away.

[bednobs]

ps I wasn't being rude by pointing out your previous post, just showing you that people all act differently - look at how many different replies you got advising to do different things :)

[seanne]

I see that bednobs but a very different situation. One was a friend the other was an aquaintance

[bednobs]

maybe your friend sees you as an acquaintance?

[TonyV]

seanne if that's how she feels at the moment, there's not much you can do I'm afraid. Lots of people are low at the moment with the current situation.

[seanne]

No bednobs we were often together before the lockdown.