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The apotheosis of Ab Ed

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venator | 09:20 Mon 25th May 2015 | ChatterBank
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I proclaim a great revelation to all those who turn to AB in their search for truth.

We have seen how AB Ed watches over us from afar ; how he speaks words of wisdom for our guidance ; how he brings peace when there is disagreement ; how he punishes the transgressors, striking out their words or consigning them to forgetfulness.

These are divine attributes, and we should humbly recognise his apotheosis.

The time has come for Answerbank to assume its rightful place as the First Church of Answerbank.

We must make offerings to Ed, through the medium of PayPal. As the first disciple, you will wish me to share some part of your offerings.

We shall of course be persecuted, and must defend our Human Rights to the full extent of the State funding which is available to this persecuted minority. The solicitors among Ed's flock will doubtless feel the call...

We must spend many hours in formulating our creed.

To aid this vital process, I suggest discussion of these propositions :-

That we wear religious costume with optional face coverings.

That we follow our Rastafarian brothers and allow the use of herbal aids to clear thought.

Also, like our Sikh brothers, shall we carry concealed weapons if we wish?

We shall need to have several periods during working hours each day for communication with our church, and employers shall make special facilities available for this purpose.

We shall require at least 30 special holidays each year, meditating before our computers and consuming special liquids.

All praise be to Ed!

(Once downloaded send it to your kindle address attached to an email. You should send it from an address set up on the Kindle, it's usually your Amazon account email address).

PDF Version For The Un-Kindled


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Mmm yes Brazil should be nice, good beaches, nuts galore, probably bananas. Hope it's not going to be just a weekend trip. Need time to work on the tan you know.
Sorry for my absence, I've been looking at designs for the Seventeenth Chapel
http://www.worth1000.com/entries/605196/banana-tower#c
Question Author
Bless you, my son. Construction shall commence when the faithful have accumulated 25 million banana skins...
Where do we store them meantime, O Great One?!
Here are the commandments for this new religion:
(Only two - two are quite enough)
1) Do no harm
2) have lots of fun
How shall we exorcise the fay fruitfly, a curse upon its faceted eyes.
-- answer removed --
Question Author
Hi spathyphillum - To become a full member of our church, just send £1000 cheque payable to me c/o Answerbank Ab Editor
Hi Venator, I am deeply honoured to accept your generous offer of appointment as Cruciverbalist. Cheque's in the post.
Just to remind all lapsed members to prepAre for the return of Ab Editor, and to return to your devotions. We are running low on rude shaped vegetables for the altar and as it is a little late for harvest festival the next appropriate celebration would 'll be the feast of Willimas so carrots,squashes, and other suitably shaped produce should be collected in time for the service. the holy sisters will distribute the said offerings to lonely ladies of the parish as laid down in The Gospel of Venator, chapter 11 verses 7 to 9
From the hands of charity to the hands of the deprived shall pass items of great joy. There shall be much crying and praising to the heavens
I am stunned to be alerted to the opportunity to peruse the wonky veg shelves in Morrisons in the pursuance of this worthy cause!
Wonderful venator. Are you my long lost brother Tomo?
Please stay
Question Author
Returning from a long sojurn in the cyber wilderness, it's very pleasing that the faithful still carry the torch from time to time!
I can announce that I have a cure for the illness. The so called scientists can't spell, as they only needed a C in English.
It's CORVID, not COVID.
CORVIDS are members of the species Corvidae, comprising ravens, rooks and crows.
All we need to do is to exterminate these large black birds.
Sadly, the Tower of London will have to go, but ho hum!

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The apotheosis of Ab Ed

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