Hermes! Grrr!

[allenlondon]

Amazon insist on using Hermes as their courier of choice.

Why?

Our local Hermes drivers are inefficient, lazy, and rude.

Today I got the email from Hermes saying my parcel had been left with a neighbour at 13.22, with a photograph on a door mat. Fine, except that I've been working by the front door for 2 hours, and we don't have a doormat!

Hermes chatline is hopeless. Amazon's no better. They can't contact Hermes, apparently. Why not?

If there was an alternative, I'd use it! In the meantime our package, ordered on Prime for delivery today, is somewhere in NW London...

A

[Peter Pedant]

I think zax is being quite thweet
compared to er normally

[allenlondon]

Hello Peter.

Thweet? Normal?

I always imagine him as one of those lounge lizards from the 20s. Tall, very thin, tight trousers, waxed moustache, smug smile, always walking bent over, reflecting his moral bent.

Thweet?

[Sunk]

Amazon is a mail order business.

It is really stupid to say you like the company apart from their mail delivery.

[allenlondon]

Sunk. I had high hopes for you, but you’ve succumbed to the Answerbank disease: you’ve started to make things up.

I suppose it’s a free(ish) country, and a free(ish) website, so you can be as inventive as you like.

But you’ve also fallen prey to another Answerbank ailment: confusing reading for reacting.

If you had a go at reading, you’d discover that my criticisms were of one of Amazon’s couriers in particular, not their ‘mail order’ service in general. (See how it works?)

Come on Sunk, join the sceptics amongst us - there is plenty to have a pop at, rather than each other.

[ummmm]

Was it from Amazon or a seller from Amazon's market place?

[douglas9401]

In the words of the great Bugs Bunny, 'What a maroon'.

[shoota]

As in a 'darker shade of Red'?

[allenlondon]

I had an uncle called Douglas. Bag of frogs, 100%. Is it in the name?

Not Amazon direct. You think Hermes differentiate?

[ummmm]

Yes, Allen, I get lots of packages and most come from Royal mail. They are from Amazon, not market place.

[sherrardk]

If you are as rude to the delivery driver as you are on here I’m not surprised he leaves your parcels elsewhere.

[allenlondon]

Oh sherrardk. If you refer to mine of 11:29 when i mentioned giving him a £20 Christmas box, what I actually said was:

“Oi, you snivelling monkey-faced little git, here’s twenty quid for a drink, and I hope it chokes you!”

Rude enough? (Dream on, or start reading. Up to you).

[ummmm]

Are you angry tonight, Allen?

[allenlondon]

Hello ummm. Not at all.

Idiots call me rude, I read what they say and reply.

My (entirely fictitious) words to the Hermes man made me fall about, mind.

[douglas9401]

Yeah, we're all the same with that name.

Didn't you used to be bainbrig?

[gness]

Sherr is far from an idiot and yes, you do come across on here as a very rude person.

[THECORBYLOON]

A few month ago he posted, "I was bainbrig, but flounced, so had to reinvent myself as Mister Nice Guy."

It would appear to be a work in progress still...

[allenlondon]

Good records, Corby!

Doesn’t anybody get it?

Shout at me, I’ll shout back.

Be rude to me, I’ll answer in kind.

Bully me... well, don’t.

Be my pal, and you’ll be my friend for life.

A

[THECORBYLOON]

I cannot take the credit, it's the AB search function.

[allenlondon]

Still impressive, Corby.