New Problem

[Bob...]

How do I stop my cat crapping in my yucca plant pot, its attracting squirrels in and they are attacking the plant but judging by the amount tail hair caught up in the plant its fighting back (what in the name for this hair). I have tried squirting the cat but cannot produce enough range; do I need to drink more fluid? Next doors cats are now coming round as well, do they find these yuccas very tasty, tasty or what. I have set up camp out back as per derbyram's advice and wired up the boundary fence to the mains but apart from receiving text messages on my bloody microwave this has had little affect, that is to say except I have not seen those noisy kids from next door for awhile now. I'm not so sure my field of view from base camp is too good so I am looking into setting up a lookout tower with a search light on my chimney pot, what is that music from that big cat programme, perhaps I could play that too. Ho and if you could tell me what this clue means as well I could finish my exam paper while I'm at it, four words, firsts letters of each word is d_ y_ o_ r_

[Betty]

why don't you try to rig up some kind of net above your yucca to catch the squirrels? you could maybe then tie one to a stick to produce a 'scare squirrel' although this will probably not stop you cat from crapping in the pot it may give you some time to set up for a closer aim whilst its scratching its head wondering what the hell's going on.. I find carling helps produce more fluid although being a girl this does not help range. Squirrels could make a tasty snack.. washed down with carling (assuming you run low of provisions whilst in your camp).

[apricot]

What you need is a trap baited with apricots. Works for everybody else!

[Jenny Tools]

Yes. I'm a big fan of apricots too !

[kags]

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[IndieSinger]

Bob..., I think if you listen to the music in the LUX ad carefully enough, you will notice that the annual number of visitors to your yucca plant pot who enjoy listening to the final accoustic song in Friends will be put off if you switch Hell's Kitchen on.

[wildwood]

Sorry to be pedantic Bob, but the new spelling for squirrel is nquirrel!

[tartanwiz]

Place an apricot on a seesaw which, when the cat removes the apricot, swings down and knocks a lever that makes a blade cut a rope that releases a guillotine with a match attached. When the guillotine falls, the match rubs down a piece of sandpaper (tied to a stuffed aardvark of course - I once tried a sloth but an aardvark is best), which then lights a fuse that ignites a candle that burns through a string, releasing a swinging boot that kicks a water-filled balloon that squirts water down a tube and sprays at the cat. Certainly works for me. Oh and the answer to the clue is 'dayboard' (it's a kind of board you carry around during the day, as opposed to a nightboard).

[Robinia]

All this stress is going to bring you out in a rash Bob... er infin...impet....name escapes me but someone might know.

[paulz]

Drink Burdalls gravy & your range should be nine yards, while you are at it check your tyre pressures and torque settings