can my husband throw me and his children out of our army quarter?

[sunshine1]

My husband has just left me for another woman,we are living in army accomodation but my husband has gone to live in the block at camp.The army has given me 93 days to vacate the house, after that they will evict me and my children.My husband has offered to pay the rent (nice of him) but he says i must play by his rules or he will throw me and our children out.can he do this im so worried?

[JustSia]

Even if there is a chance of it why would you want to put yourself in this situation? Go to your nearest housing association and fill in a homeless application form, they should be able to find you something fairly quickly. And then sue the b@stard for everything he's got but not before you apply for child support. Even if he doesn't start paying it straight away, once you contact the CSA and register with them you can then backdate all his payment to that date. Don't accept his rent offer it will backfire sooner or later.

All the best. S.

[maviscoull]

would he be allowed to pay the rent after the 93 days that the army has gave you ? i wouldnt play by his rules anyway. as you have kids and in army quarters i think the local council would rehouse you. please dont worry. talk to your local council asap so that you have plenty time before the 93 days are up. let us know how you get on. you will be fine.xx

[JustSia]

Just to add, I know exactly how you feel as I went through the same thing 2 years ago only I let him pay the rent. He ended up slashing it one day and I ended up having a proper breakdown. Came so close to losing the house, because it took ages to sort out the benefits I had to let my daughter stay with him until that was sorted only for him to take the opportunity and file for custody. I won, sorted out the house and the money and now have very little to do with him. Whatever you do don't worry too much it will literally eat you alive. Be pro-active, don't dwell on things. Ring Gingerbread 0800 0184318 or Parentline 0808 8002222 they would be able to give you all the info you might need and help you aplly for benefits and such.

Once again , take care.

[sunshine1]

its not as easy as that, the local council wont do anything until i have been served with my eviction notice.The way they see it is the army is giving me a place to live for 3 months so i am not classed as homless and they wont entertain me until that happens.My husband just tells me i dont want to rock the boat and that if i go to the csa he wont pay for the car that is on finance in my name which he has taken because i dont drive, my head is all over the place at the moment

[sunshine1]

thats really kind of you all to take the time to give me advice.This is all such a shock!things have happend so quick. I feel for my 3 children, their dad wasnt hands on dad anyway but at least he was there now and again.The army are useless they just stick by their soliders and up yours to the person who stuck by them for 8yrs while they were touring bosnia,iraq and afghanistan.The army have given him a weeks leave and paid a travel warrant for him to go and see his new woman while im here having to pick up the pieces, see to our sons first day at school and our littles girls first birthday.its crap!

[JustSia]

Sunshine, until you speak to someone properly there is just no point in worrying. I know it sounds stupid but it's true. Ring those people first thing tomorrow morning, they will be able to at least give you a strategy. Just don't panic for now. I didn't wait for council I rent a house. Maybe that's an option if you just want to get out and start a fresh. You will get all sorts of help from the Council, just ring those guys up. If you wanna chat any other time let me know and I would be happy to post my e-mail.

[sunshine1]

thats so nice.i will do that first thing tomorrow. i feel really bad talking this way to people i dont know , this is how my husband met his other bit on a chat room(not this kind though) thanks again

[JustSia]

I wish I did that when all that happened to me. It's good to talk to people especially those who are not too close to you. I could have saved a lot of time and worrying if asked for help. Don't be too scared to ask for help. There are some really good people on this site, I never knew strangers could be so supportive of one another. You'll find this site a great help and an occasional escape. If you do need to talk, about anything even if it's just a rant I'm on MSN. Send an e-mail if you want and I will reply as soon as. You don't have to but the offer is there my e-mail is [email protected].

[sunshine1]

Thank you justsia.

[dzug]

To be honest, it's the army's rules you have to play by, not your husband's.

Is there a welfare or family officer in your husband's unit? It would be worth seeing them as well as the local authority. They will at least tell you if your husband is giving you correct information - he may be misprepresenting the situation to his advantage.

[Alibobs]

Do seek out information before you do anything - and not from your husband. I hope your little boy has a good day at school and you will be able to give your little girl lovely birthdays in the future - she won' t remeber this one.
Lots of luck xx

[sunshine1]

Thanks to everyone who gave advice, ive had a very interesting day and found out lots, and even more disturbing facts about my husband but hey! my future doesnt seem so bleek and im looking forward to my son and daughters big days.Thanks again everyone,heres to a hard couple of months but a least now i know there is going to be a light at the end of the tunnel.