I'm Putting My Head Above The Parapet Here

[nailit]

But I've never made any bones about the fact that I'm a functioning alcoholic / got a drink problem/ reliant on alcohol to see me through
Had long periods of time sober...& can honestly say that I was never happy.

I just think that we are all reliant on 'something' to see us through this thing called life.
Better to walk with a crutch than to not walk at all.

I often wake with that anxiety that has to check posts, phone calls, texts etc because I know that somewhere I might have offended someone without knowing.

Just a rant because I'm p$$ed again.
And hate myself again,

Anyway, we are all addicted to something....cigs, food, porn, drugs, social media!!!!

[anneasquith]

Not all addictions are life threatening though are they, or affect relationships, employment ?

[pixie374]

It depends on the degree, Anne. Are there any that can't?

[TonyV]

Decades ago now, but my mum was advised to start smoking by her GP to relieve stress, she didn't take the advice.

[pixie374]

Tonyv, I have had three different doctors advise me over the space of 25 years, to "start drinking" as it helps with anxiety.

[nailit]

//Nailit, I have had many addictions over the years//
Please share Pix ;-)

In my 20's I was addicted to benzo's (of any description), somehow managed to get myself off them. Addicted to cigarettes since teenage years but no longer smoke. Dabbled in all sorts but just cant beat alcohol for some reason.
Done AA, done rehabs and psych hospitals. 'Dried out' in jail etc.
Just cant beat this demon...

[nailit]

//Not all addictions are life threatening though are they, or affect relationships, employment ?//

Is there a grading system?

[anneasquith]

A grading system? Not that I am aware of nailit.

[nailit]

//A grading system? Not that I am aware of nailit//
You sure imply one.

[pixie374]

Nailit, just for you... I was an alcoholic from about 13-20. Only managed to stop as I was pregnant... and felt too guilty. I smoked from about 21, that was very all or nothing. I think I have the kind of personality where I can't go by halves. Both my parents were alcoholics (my mum, more briefly. My dad, always). To some degree, I think it is inherited, and I no longer smoke, as if I did, it would be full-on.
I "dabbled" a little, but nothing much. Nicotine is the hardest to stop and alcohol- cut down first, if you can (just my experience).
The majority of addictions, are hereditary- or self-medication. You need to honestly work out which, as both are treatable in different ways.
Antidepressants can be hugely helpful with alcohol or drug addictions.
Speed, is often used by people with ADHD.

People instinctively know what their minds and bodies need- but- you can get safer, nonaddictive, legal drugs to replace them. If alcohol is the biggest problem, it could actually be as simple as anti-anxiety medication.

[Prudie]

If you've tried everything and can't beat it why not just accept that it's part of you and not a demon. You've still managed to do some decent things in your life, especially lately, so what's the problem, is it stopping you from doing something you want?

[pixie374]

Great answer, prudie.... I would only suggest trying the safer alternatives. But nailit, you have to consider how well you have done with your work, your mum.... in spite of it. That must tell you something.

[nailit]

//If alcohol is the biggest problem, it could actually be as simple as anti-anxiety medication//
100% Pix
Problem was I had to stop taking it due to side effects....

Within weeks, back on the drink just to function as a normal human being.
Some people just dont get that addicts, of any description, are just trying to function...

[nailit]

//If you've tried everything and can't beat it why not just accept that it's part of you and not a demon. You've still managed to do some decent things in your life, especially lately, so what's the problem, is it stopping you from doing something you want?//

Thats the kindest word on AB that Ive ever heard!!!
I know that it will kill me eventually.
Tried and tried.
Been judged and judged etc.
But your post just touched me.....

[pixie374]

Of course they are, nailit. Nobody ever wants to be an addict, they are just trying to "treat" themselves. Mental health care is notoriously unreliable.
You don't need to answer this, of course (or privately if you prefer), but can I ask which meds you were given and how many were tried? Side effects and how long for?
There will be something more appropriate for you. But particularly older or male doctors, don't always seem to "with it".

[Tilly2]

It's good to see that you're a little more settled, Nails.

[nailit]

//Mental health care is notoriously unreliable//
No sh t!....
Nearly lost my life because of incompetance and got jailed once because they couldnt be bothered to turn up at court (until a week later when I got released)

PM me pix.

[nailit]

Thanks Tills
(& others)
Appreciate it.

[pixie374]

Will do xx