ChatterBank1 min ago
Daftest/funniest ansaphone messages!!
8 Answers
After my little pickle yesterday with my fone,it got me thinking.What it the wierdest,funniest or strangest ansaphone message you have ever heard? Or even put of your own phone.
Answers
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Morning Pinky... my current one is me sounding like I'm talking to you but have very bad reception. But I have to change is only funny once really, did have a spat of people leaving messages that started with 'you bi**h, I've been dancing round like an idiot' which made me laugh.
My favourite one was on a mates phone who had a message saying that it was the fridge answering as the answermachine was on a way and if you leave a message the fridge would stick a note on itself.
The most random one I ever heard was on a mates ex who just had a cow mooing and then a beep.
My favourite one was on a mates phone who had a message saying that it was the fridge answering as the answermachine was on a way and if you leave a message the fridge would stick a note on itself.
The most random one I ever heard was on a mates ex who just had a cow mooing and then a beep.
http://www.ilovewavs.com/comedy/AnsMach/AnsMac h.htm
I got my message from the above link, it goes something like this: Hi I'm not here but please leave a message for my dog who will get back to you as soon as he finishes going through the garbage, depositing it all over my nice clean kitchen floor, turns over his water bowl, chases a cat up the tree, pulls the buttons off my couch cushions before going to impregnate the b!tch next door, wait for the bark!!!
I got my message from the above link, it goes something like this: Hi I'm not here but please leave a message for my dog who will get back to you as soon as he finishes going through the garbage, depositing it all over my nice clean kitchen floor, turns over his water bowl, chases a cat up the tree, pulls the buttons off my couch cushions before going to impregnate the b!tch next door, wait for the bark!!!
I quite like this spoof one:
Hello! Thank you for calling.
If you are obsessive-compulsive press 1 repeatedly
If you are co-dependant, please ask someone else to press 2 for you
If you have multiple personalities, please press 3, 4, 5 & 6
If you are paranoid, we know who you are and what you want, please stay on the line so we can trace your call and persecute you.
If you are delusional, press 7 and your call will be transferred to the mothership.
If you are schizophrenic, listen carefully and a small voice will tell you which number to press.
If you are a manic depressive, press whichever number you like, no-one will answer you.
If you are dyslexic, press 69696969696969696969696.
If you have amnesia, press 8, followed by your date of birth, your social security number, home phone number, the square root of 1,555,666,777,888 and your
tax code followed by the atomic number for Uranium.
If you have post traumatic stress disorder, slowly and carefully press 000.
If you have BI-polar disorder, please leave a message after the beep, or before the beep, for god's sake wait for the beep.
If you are suffering from short-term memory loss, please press 9.
If you are suffering from short-term memory loss, please press 9.
If you are suffering from short-term memory loss, please press 9.
If you are suffering from short-term memory loss, please press 9.
If you are suffering from short-term memory loss, please press 9.
If you have low self esteem, go away, no one can be bothered to talk to you anyway.
and
Hi, I'm not in right now but if you'd like to buy some marijuana, press the hash key
Hello! Thank you for calling.
If you are obsessive-compulsive press 1 repeatedly
If you are co-dependant, please ask someone else to press 2 for you
If you have multiple personalities, please press 3, 4, 5 & 6
If you are paranoid, we know who you are and what you want, please stay on the line so we can trace your call and persecute you.
If you are delusional, press 7 and your call will be transferred to the mothership.
If you are schizophrenic, listen carefully and a small voice will tell you which number to press.
If you are a manic depressive, press whichever number you like, no-one will answer you.
If you are dyslexic, press 69696969696969696969696.
If you have amnesia, press 8, followed by your date of birth, your social security number, home phone number, the square root of 1,555,666,777,888 and your
tax code followed by the atomic number for Uranium.
If you have post traumatic stress disorder, slowly and carefully press 000.
If you have BI-polar disorder, please leave a message after the beep, or before the beep, for god's sake wait for the beep.
If you are suffering from short-term memory loss, please press 9.
If you are suffering from short-term memory loss, please press 9.
If you are suffering from short-term memory loss, please press 9.
If you are suffering from short-term memory loss, please press 9.
If you are suffering from short-term memory loss, please press 9.
If you have low self esteem, go away, no one can be bothered to talk to you anyway.
and
Hi, I'm not in right now but if you'd like to buy some marijuana, press the hash key
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