Lungs Failing.

[Theland]

After four stays in hospital this year, tests and X-Rays, I have been told that my lungs are failing.
The DNR is signed and in place, and my funeral is paid for.
The reality is I could go tonight, or linger on for a year or two.
It saddens me because I want to leave my family secure and worry free.
My family are doing OK, youngest son, 26, about to join the Navy.
I have enough money to pay the bills, just, but help out one of my two disabled children.
Sometimes it gets a bit much. Overwhelming.
Citalopram, Mirtazapine and Morphine help, but that's all.
I'm just trying to come to terms with the fact that soon, (?), I won't be around.
My faith sustains me, but I am not impervious to dreadful depression.
Just wanted to share.

[Peter Pedant]

take one day at a time
enjoy the moment

a colleague told me: I tell people you survived a hemicolectomy for ca colon 20 y ago. live for the day

[jourdain2]

I am truly saddened by this, Theland. Your family is doing OK, you say, so there is no more you can do. You know that you will still exist, but in a different state. My warmest wishes and prayers are with you and will continue to be so. x

[david small]

Courage Theland. We all follow your path. You have the foreknowledge to settle your affairs and steel your spirit for your new adventure. Three score years and ten shall be thy allotted time. The things that you do and say you will be remembered by. You have been I assume a good man.if your work on this world is nearly finished, don’t be sad for doing a job well done. Life after death is not a false hope. Let your faith sustain you. As you say it could be two more years, or a few months. Time to carry on annoying certain people on answerbank , for their own good of course.

[rowanwitch]

Theland, I knew this was coming for you some months ago, knew you were entering the end stage of your illness, I have been with a fair few lung patients at this time and so many struggled.Depression and sadness are normal, but so too can be relief, on the bad days knowing they will soon be done. Everyone seems to sympathise if you have cancer but COPD isn't understood that well this can make it harder to talk about just how bad it can make you feel.

It sounds like you have done everything you can and now it is time to concentrate on sharing quality time with those you will leave behind.
It's not the grand gestures, it's the quiet evening revisiting happy memories that stay with families, it reinforces to them that the time you spent together was important, that they were valued, and it will help them when you are no longer around. I wish you the time you need, but not a minute beyond the time you are ready to leave.

[lady-janine]

Sorry to read this TL but would like to wish you a pain free time for the rest of your life and a pain free death. Go easy dear man and enjoy, as far as you can, what time you have left.

[Tilly2]

There are some lovely words of support in these replies, Theland. I have nothing much to add, except to say, I hope you travel peacefully and painlessly to your end.