My daughter

[xHollyx]

My daughter is now 12 and i dont think she is a virgin as when i got home from work i heard noices coming fom her room and when i called her a teenage boy came out. How can i confront her and make sure shes not pregnant?

[ummmm]

oh my god!!! 12!! Ground her and do not let any boys in the house. Simple

[tiggeralix]

i think its a case of sitting her down and talking to her - simply grounding her may cause confrontation, speak to her and try and make her feel like she can talk to her, i know that when i felt patronized by my folks i wouldnt talk to them

HTH GL

[saxy_jag]

Girls and boys that age do things other than sex when they're alone, you know.

It is possible for girls and boys to be friends without there being a sexual (or any other type of ) relationship.

Just maintain an air of openness and trust her. Do not confront her!!

[noxlumos]

Whatever you do, DO NOT ground her and start the whole alienation/punishment cycle that once is started is so impossible to break.Nor should you stop her seeing her friends male or female, that would just be parental suicide.
Keep it light and easy and keep all routes of communication open at ALL COSTS. She may or may not have experimented with sex yet, and if she hasn't then it's a great opportunity to broach the subject lightly and easily and if she already has she may be more clued up than you supposed. Just bring up the subject of teen sex and let her know that there is nothing she can't tell you whatever it is and then gently outline contraception and get chatting about it, find out what SHE already knows and above all maker her HIV/AIDS aware if she isn't already. From her responses you'll end up knowing if any sexual activity has taken place and you can take it from there, but PLEASE don't just assume she's been doing what you're worried about as she probably hasn't and will be mortified if you confront her and she's not done anything.

[freak_unique]

I agree with noxlumos. Also you need to think, really if she was doing anything sexual surely she wouldnt bring the guy out of the room as soon as you called her shed be more likely to try and sneak him out?

[PinkFizz]

Why are you so sure that she has had sex?? Did you know this boy? Maybe they were just having a kiss and a cuddle,but I think confronting her is the worst thing you could do.if she has had sex she is hardly likely to tell you is she?

[crete]

i really hope this question is a joke .

[xHollyx]

Thankyou for all of your replys and this boy was a kind of chav(gangster) and when i was cleaning her room i found a used condom. Help i dont know what to do.
xhollyx

[missyR]

don't mean to sound mean but are you old enough to be her mother?

[Blyss]

if you found a used condom , chances are shes not pregnant.
Is there anyone who could come and sit with her that you trust for times when you are at work ??
That way you will know that shes at least not doing anything in your house .
I agree with all the advice that nox has given you as well on the subject of bring it up to her.

[mick1]

I think you should do what my mum did with me at that age she knew i had boyfriends around that age and insted of coming out and saying are you haveing sex she just sat me down and said i know you have a boyfriend and i know you probably arn't have sex but i would rather get you on the pill b4 anything happens. I was greatfull that she didnt just assume and thought of my will being. Now days you have to get them on the pill early as teenagers are growing up a lot faster and becoming more mature quicker. And dont ground her as she will only go behind your back and have sex to spite you for grounding her.
all the best