Guardian Ship Of Grandchild

[Beaubb30]

Hi, as anyone successfully applied for guardian ship of their grandchild/children?
I asked for advice a few months ago but things have drastically changed since then.
My daughter in law hasn't seen our grandson in 7 weeks and only seen him a couple of hours in 4 months!
Social services are involved but only for her oldest child who isn't biologically ours.
There's been no concerns for our grandson as he's been living with us.
Now after 7 weeks she's asking for him back! I've told her many times over the last month's she's welcome at our house to see him, she hasn't once and not even a quick message to check on him.
I've asked her to come to ours for a couple of weeks, for one for him to get used to her again but also he'd be in his safe environment but she's refused and said ive to take him down.
I went to a solicitor a few months ago and she gave me advice and suggested we apply for guardian ship but as the week's went by without word from mum it sort of went by the by as we know mum as no interest in our grandson.
She's been reported for claiming his benefits still and now want's him back.
Anyone had this experience? Any advice would be massively appreciated

[bednobs]

Hi beau. What does your son want? Is he living with you too?

[pixie374]

Hi, how old is the child now? It will always be about what is in your grandson's best interests (in theory). Which, except, in very very rare occasions, is to be with his mum, with you as a support.
Is that possible?

[LadyCG]

She doesn't sound like a very loving mother. I hope he gets to stay with you.

[Beaubb30]

Dad's here with us but works away alot and we aren't really on good terms.
He's happy to live his single life.
I had a decent relationship with mum until this last demand, she's no concern for my grandson at all and ive just had a vile phone call demanding him back and ill never see him again, i feel absolutely broken

[pixie374]

Lcg, children do better with an average biological mum, than a fantastic Foster parent. It's a massive decision.

[pixie374]

Beau, communication... "you'll never see each other" won't happen, if she trusts you. She will see that he needs you as well and it's best to stay in contact.
My only advice really, is don't start a war. Be on her side, help and support as much as possible... that's better for everyone.
Best wishes x

[bednobs]

I don't see how you can fail to return him tbh. If his dad doesn't want him and the mum does. Wont you be at risk of being accused of kidnap?

[LadyCG]

That poor child. I stand by what I said in my earlier post.

Get your Solicitor on it first thing Monday and record any further calls you receive from your Grandson's so-called mother.

Your son could do with a good kick up the backside too.

[pixie374]

I disagree, lcg. With no offence intended at all, I wouldn't ask any mil about the parenting skills of a different and expect an unbiased truly accurate answer.
And, he isn't a puppy, who is emotionally ready to leave its mother at a few weeks old. Humans take 14-20 years before they aren't seriously affected forever by it.
You disagree, fair enough. But this isn't about looking for the "best home" for an independent animal- it should be about keeping the immediate family together with as much support as possible.

[Beaubb30]

She originally wanted two weeks with her friend to party, she moved the friend in immediately, there's drugs and prostitution going on, i even found her profile on the adult website.
Social services got involved when the oldest son's school called them because mum brought him in drunk.
Two weeks turned into two month's, then she'd ask to see him for an hour then no contact for another month.
I literally have supported her, ive done everything in my power to help her.
My grandson was 10 month old when he came to us he's 14 month old now she's missed his first birthday, his first steps and openly told me she's not bothered.
Yes my son does need a kick up.
I'm just absolutely terrified she'll stop me seeing him, he's so happy, content and an absolute joy

[pixie374]

I'm sure he is, beau :-). I have 2 grandchildren- but it isn't about you or what you want. You haven't mentioned any abuse or violence. Tbh, she sounds immature and quite young, but I can only go by your assessment.
It sounds like you two usually have a good relationship, speak to her properly and tell her what worries you.
I would keep my child away from anyone I didn't trust not to give them back. But also, it sounds like she needs you too.

[Peter Pedant]

I dont think things have changed from last time

My advice is to get into contact with Social Services and plead that the mother is unfit to look after the child and that you are willing to take over.

sqad.
You dont need more advice - do the stuff you were told to last time.

There is no change to the Law - Children Act 1989 - the interests of the child are paramount and the Judge will decide that

[Beaubb30]

She is in an abusive relationship, he's just been found guilty for assaulting his last girlfriend.
She told her own mum last night that she couldn't have the oldest child home because she had no food in.
She's told me many times she feels no bond with baby, that's why ive done everything to help her, to help build a bond for them.

[LadyCG]

I really hope it works out well for you and your lovely little grandson.

[pixie374]

Tbh, beau- that would have been the very first thing I posted. It's taken a while to get round to the important things.
I wish him all the best x