is it expected for children to buy presents for grandparents

[lesliedaniella]

I have a 3 year old boy and my parents have always bought him presents at xmas and birthdays. I have never bought presents for him to give to them on xmas and their birthdays mainly because he is a child and i think presents are for the grandchildren to receive not the other way around.
Just curious to know what other people do at xmas when it comes to presents. Do you get presents for your children to give to other people, even if they are still very young? Would you as a grandparent expect this?

[vulcan]

If they are not satisfied with what you give them and don't say thank you, then you will never satisfy their greed. I personally wouldn't even try, if a three year old grandsons love by itself isn't enough then they don't deserve presents.

[bobjugs12]

Leslie, if it helps my dad can be a beligerant bugger.

I was changing my neices nappy last week, and my dad pipes up from the armchair "You're doing that all wrong"
"No i'm not" I replied
"Trust me" he says "I've had three kids"
"Dad" I say "So have I, a lot more recent than you. And where as you had all boys, i had two girls. On this one I think i've got the greater knowledge"
At which point he sulks off into the kitchen mumbling about no respect in his house, i've changed more nappies than you've had hot meals,

[lesliedaniella]

thanks vulcan. I never ask them to buy him presents but they do and im always greatful but i dont see why they should expect the same back and i feel like they do. I would rather them not buy him anything if they want something in return.

[lesliedaniella]

bob jugs that sounds about right! My dad is the same. Just because he is older he thinks he knows everything and is right about everything. Hate the way parents go on about how theyve done this that and the other and how they have more "experience" in everything and how apparently at 29 years old im still ungreatful for everything blah blah. Anyway nice to know im not the only one who feels this way lol good luck with yours!

[trt]

Heres an idea for you leslie :- )

http://www.dailymail....-Abu-Dhabi-hotel.html

[bobjugs12]

I've had some cracking arguments with my old man
Couple of years ago discussing a documentry on tv he starts piping up about his time in the mob. Apparantly my 10 years in the military is nothing compared to the 2 years he did 3 decades ago. That was when the Army was full of real men, and wasn't all weak like it is now. Although he soon shut up when we compared what operations we'd been on, and he hadn't done any compared to my six :)

[lesliedaniella]

lol trt thats well funny. My parents ideal present although i would need to buy plenty to keep them satisfied ha maybe the machine itself

[B00]

Ok, im going to do a LucyThomas, as it's one of my biggest grrr's in text...

It's "would HAVE" not "would OF"

Right, that's said, sorry...carry on!

[redcrx]

I have always bought my parents present from my 2 children, since they were born. My parents buy for both me and my children so its nice to reciprocate.

My siblings usually buy Christmas presents for my children and get gifts from the children in return too.

what did your parents do when you were a child?

[LoftyLottie]

I always gave my Mum (unfortunately Dad died quite young) presents from my son even when he was just a babe, and then, as he got older and could put something on a label (only if only a 'X') he really enjoyed being involved. It let's them join in the joy of giving presents. It wasn't because they expected a present, and had nothing to do with the value of the gift. It's nice for children to learn that presents are not just for children and teaches them a bit about being unselfish.

[LoftyLottie]

Fortunately the monetary value of any presents in our family has never had any meaning.

[KARL]

It seems sometimes people get themselves caught in a web they themselves have created. I agree with your initial indications, children are something of a blank slate but they are very keen to emulate/copy others (in order to fit in - our innate social tendency). They only learn to anticipate expectations as they go along and with that comes by implication the need to differentiate which expectations are reasonable, and which are not. This is the essence of personal opinion and choice. Any grandparent who expects a 3 yr old child to initiate and deliver a present to him/her is in my opinion probably somewhat deluded (or worse) and almost certainly believes in Santa Clause as well. The affection that a grandchild has (or not) will not be discernible from a bauble given but from something much less tangible and not unusually in a very subtle even illusive way. I feel sorry for people who completely miss this point and on top of that are so insecure (and with screwed up values to boot) as to crave tokens. The nonsense surrounding wedding arrangements comes to mind - all of it vanity, self indulgence, posturing, selfishness etc., etc. Realism is often deliberately excluded in favour of some formulaic concept which is based on perceptions of "the way it is done", not what makes best sense. We should not assume anything about others or impose on them some arbitrary (unmentioned) framework for behaviour unless it is to prevent harm to someone. Gifts are not gifts if they are part of a compulsory exercise, then they are a tax.

[China Doll]

Yes. I was always included in birthday present picking and chosing for my grandparents and got to scribble in the cards as well... it was nice. Think you're being a little on the selfish side to be honest.

[joko]

i think its ridiculous to expect babies and toddlers to give presents like this...i would at most expect them to give me one of their drawings or something

when they are old enough to understand it all then yes, let them choose a small gift or let them just write on the card...

trouble with some people is gifts cease to be 'lovely surprise' and become expected and judged...

i would ask the 3 year old to draw a pic of them or something perhaps even get him to wrtite happy birthday (copying of course, if he can) an have the baby add some scribbly bits...an put it in a card...

have a look at tesco...they have a photo studio place with lots of novelty things that you can make using photos - or kids pics

[boxtops]

China, where's your chinadoll avatar? That one is scary!

[Thisoldbird]

As a grandparent to 1 and great grandparent to 2 I never give for expecting something in return..nor do I just give gifts at Christmas and birthdays.
Its second nature to me to listen out and hear things they are interested in or wanting to buy..I'm one jump ahead. If I can afford it they get it.

However despite not wanting gifts i do get given lovely hand made cards and gifts maybe flowers.

Its wonderful seeing the x's turn into a scribbled name to really nice neat handwriting..I get wonderful hugs from the little ones..

I'm sure your parents would love to see a scribbled name in a card meant just for them..