Feeling Isolated

[tiggerblue10]

I picked Little Tigs up from school today and he told me that all the friends he had made at the beginning of last term no longer talk to him and that he doesn't feel comfortable in his mentor group anymore. He's in year 7 and is autistic and has delayed development. Last term he told one of the boys in his group that he had a crush on him and ever since then he gets picked on and one of his ex friends now calls him gross. I can't stop him from expressing himself but I've told him to just keep his head down and get on with his work and only talk if anyone asks him something.

There is a room called the Ozone where he can go and it's there for children with autism, ADHD and learning difficulties. He spends his break times and lunches in the room with the SEN teacher and some friends he's made there and wants to be in there permanently.

I've emailed the school to find out exactly what's going on and if they can help.

I feel really upset and want to wrap him up in cotton wool but I know I can't. Anyone on here with any similar experiences, do you have any advice?

[piggynose]

Dont know if this will help. My nephew was diagnosed with a bit of autism and aspergers when he was very young . He spent his early school years in normal state schools, but had to suffer a lot of bullying, in fact up the age of 11. Anyway to cut a long story short he was assessed by a special needs expert and immediately transferred to a special needs school. From the 1st day til the day he left he was a changed young man. As opposed to his state school experience when he would always come home crying, in his new school the contrary. Compared to most of his classmates he´s practically normal. He´s now 22 and has a lot of independence, and has a girlfriend. Oh a job.

[tiggerblue10]

The school that he's in caters for children with learning difficulties which is why it was my first choice. Because he doesn't have an ECHP he has been put in a general mentor group. I just hope that the SENCO can assist with a change of mentor group or put him with the SEN group in the Ozone, Piggy.

[wolf63]

Is there anything that he is good at, music or something that he can concentrate on hat will make him feel good about himself?

It would also be a good way to make friends.

[anneasquith]

Tigger, I’m so sad to hear you and your son are sad.
I imagine he is a gentle kind boy, just by ‘ knowing ‘ you on AB I know he is your first priority in life.
I can’t give you practical help, but this I do know, the louder you shout to get assistance for your son the better the result. Best wishes Anne .

[tiggerblue10]

He doesn't seem to be enjoying any of his classes at the moment. He liked woodwork but that's finished now and he'll be doing media studies instead, Wolf xx

Thanks Anne, yes he is xx

[piggynose]

First of all tiggs I have to agree with anne. The louder you shout and all that.
Cuz my nephew and myself live in Spain they do things different here. But it hasn't been easy for his parents. My Sil has never stopped fighting for her son. Cuz he was born in UK she wanted him to return there. But her hubby/ my brother wasn't convinced it would be better. Initially or in the early days she said she thought Spain was backward compared to rest of world.
Imho I think Spain has moved forward in special needs education, from nothing. We will never know if his life would have been better in the UK. He still lives at home. And his parents don't know what his future will be.
Sorry I can't say anything else to help you. But I will say again don't stop fighting for him!

[tiggerblue10]

Update....I had a long chat with his mentor teacher today and she noticed a load of kids gathered around him at home time in the playground yesterday. None of the kids were from his mentor group but one of them shouted at him asking 'are you gay, straight or bi?' The teacher not knowing why this had happened told the kids to move along and go home.

Little Tigs asked to speak with her this morning and he told her he was unhappy and that he had no friends. She moved him to a different desk to work and called me this afternoon. She said she will work with the head of yr7 to come up with a plan or move him to a different mentor group that mostly sit in the Ozone. Bit of progress but will see how it goes.

I'm glad that she witnessed what happened to him yesterday so there is no doubt about what he's going through. He seemed ok when I picked him up earlier and is looking forward to daddy coming to stay this weekend :o)

[anneasquith]

Indeed tiggs, a bit of progress, but , keep frequent contact with the staff . Enjoy the weekend .
If your child/children are happy you are as well . :-)

[Mamyalynne]

Good to hear that you've got this Mentor onside and she understands, that can only be to the good.

Hang on in there.

[tiggerblue10]

You can say that again, Anne, I feel a lot less stressed today but quite knackered now.

[tiggerblue10]

Indeed, Mamy, a bit of weight lifted of my shoulders.

[Arksided]

First I've read this thread Tigger, he always seems a happy young fella with the pics etc,,, you post on FB. Such a shame for him, I can't advise not being a parent oneself but good you've made some progress today. As being suggested on here keep on their case, all the best and good luck Xx

[pastafreak]

Just caught up with this. Can't offer anymore than all the good advice you've had. I hope that little tiggs can eventually settle in. Being 11 isn't easy at the best of times but with the support of the school and that of his loving mum,he'll be fine.

[tiggerblue10]

Thank you both xx