How Do You Get The Best Out Of Marriage Counseling?

[MarriageCouns]

How do I get the best out of marriage counseling?

[KARL]

Take as impartial an outlook as humanly possible, be entirely honest. Expect the same of all others involved in the process, including the councillor(s).

[Hopkirk]

Looking at your username, I suspect you are going to tell us.

[Theland]

Ask is lot on here. Years of experience.
If I'd committed murder I'd be free by now!

[TrevorThePug]

1. Engage in it with the mindset that you want to save the marriage (otherwise don’t bother going)
2. You both need to be there
3. Explain the issues honestly
4. Discuss the issues openly and honestly with an open mind
5. Explore mutuallly agreeable solutions for reparation, if at all possible.

Mostly give it TIME

[talhaaxhar]

Concentrate and listen to everything he said and always be ready to forgive other peoples.forgiveness is blessing to yourself.
Have a nice day ! Spread peace

[sevenOP]

Excellent answer TrevorThePug, with your No.1 crucial.

[Barmaid]

Listen.

[Bobbisox1]

Trust

[ummmm]

What, trust them to turn up?

[Barmaid]

I often think that a trust issue is one of the reasons people go to Relationship Counselling, Bobbie. And if your trust is broken, it is very hard to rebuild it. Although with work it is possible.

Whilst I agree with Trevor that you should engage, I think you should engage with an open mind. By all means go with the view that you want to save it but some relationships just cannot be saved and RC can help the parties find a way out without guilt or regret.

[Bobbisox1]

Trust each other to express what they're feeling BM

[Barmaid]

Unfortunately, that is not always possible, Bobbie.

If trust has gone, RC is a step which may help identify why that trust has gone and if it has how to rebuild it. But if trust has gone, it is not always possible to trust what is said at RC.

For example, if you are in a relationship with someone who is manipulative, often they will attempt to use RC as a further means of manipulation.

The trust part is important in the sense that you need to have trust in the process and trust in yourself to take the steps that a good RC will help you identify.

[woofgang]

its easy....put your best in.

[Cloverjo]

As Hopkirk said I guess the OP will soon tell us.
But anyway...
When you get to the stage of needing counselling isn’t the relationship over anyway?

[sevenOP]

I trust gender pair counselling and couple counselling benefit from the above advice too.

[Mamyalynne]

MarriageCouns hasn't returned to the site since Monday, maybe he's very busy?

I'm sure this year has put a strain on many relationships.

[Barmaid]

Im not sure about that Cloverjo. I know one couple who had an issue, and went to counselling and it helped enormously.

I know another who went to counselling for a very long time. She desperately wanted things to change and to work, but no amount of counselling was going to change the fact that he was a narcissistic control freak. He used counselling to try and get her to bow to his whim. She used counselling to understand that she couldnt change him or the situation and the only change she could make was to leave since it would be ever thus. She is now happier than she has ever been.

[woofgang]

indeed BM. A happy outcome from counselling doesn't always mean that the couple stay together.

[tomus42]

// How do I get the best out of marriage counseling? //

Go with an open mind, listen to what the counsellor says, and be honest. Also take any free tea and biscuits that might be offered.