internet lovers

[stylinsam]

can you fall for someone you dont no ?? just via pics e-mail, and text?? i read about them happening in magazines !?

anyone have any experiences??

[Neenee]

Briar_x

i bet your friend you were talking with last night about all this, does not go online to chat or talk to people? am i right?

[China Doll]

Sorry to be the old cynic but I have to say that personally I don't think so.... I think you can really like someone, be curious as to what they're like in the flesh and maybe even think they look good on camera.

But the camera lies, some people are great at coming up with stuff on MSN/phone but then if you meet them in person you might discover they can't string a sentance together when actually faced with another person and also, it's so easy on the internet for people to invent themselves and be an entirely different character. I know not everyone does this but it happens. Thus, when you meet them in the flesh, you actually end up meeting an entirely different person.

Says the girl who went out with someone for three years she met on the internet... in my defence, that was A) Random and B) Makes me stand by what I just said even more! Lol!

I just think that at some point, you have to be in the same space at the same time... otherwise you are just friends with a cyber crush.

Bah humbug ;0)

[kick3m0n]

hiya old cynic! (lol how are you babes??)....disagree with you to an extent, but you are right in that you can only know so much about a person until you meet them face to face - even if you are both completely open, honest and truthful. So much of what we can read in other people is through their body language, the pauses before they speak, the humdrum day to day incidents, that all tell us alot more about a person than they communicate through words etc. And also, the physicality of someone....guy may be lovely but if he keeps one hand down his boxers 24/7, you might wonder if he's the one of you! Ditto he may smell odd, have bad breath etc
BUT, having said all that, and being a proper grown up (35 good god) not a daft young lassie, I do still believe you can fall for someone you haven't actually met. When you meet them in real life, that will either confirm your feelings, or temper them slightly, but that initial feeling of love is still real, and valid.

[Briar_x]

Neenee

Yup, you are right. She doesn't talk to anyone via the net.

[China Doll]

Hey Kick babes, I'm better, how's you.

I see what you're saying but it does back up my point to an extent... about 70% of communication is body language and the silent messages we send out, you can't send those through the computer. (And of course the bodily hygene thing is a whole other area of horrors that could wait!) It's so easy for people to imagine what someone might be like via words on the screen but without the other 70% of communication then I just find it hard to believe you can truely love someone before you meet them.

I will concede that you can have feelings but I would still say those feelings are lust and not love. And lust is very valid ;0)

I don't know, maybe it's subjective to the person babes. I'm not someone who can ever let their heart make a decision so perhaps it depends on the nature of a person. Perhaps if you're less of an old bat than me then maybe it can happen.... I just think it's a very grey area.

[Briar_x]

China Doll

I would like to point out I said lust after and not love. Boy do I lust after him..... yummmmmmmmmmmmmmmm yyyuuuuummmmmmmmmmmm yum!

[kick3m0n]

Briar_x....oh yeah, plenty of lust ;o) to the point of distraction..........xx

[China Doll]

Hey Briar, I know hun, I was just answering Sam's question... then that gobby gooner kicks off a debate... honestly, sometimes I wonder why I like her so much ;0)

I'm kidding Kicky! Love you really! xx

[kick3m0n]

you too babes :o) xxx really pleased you're a happier bunny today toots, long may it continue, hope things with work/family are becoming less stressful xx

[China Doll]

It'll all come good xx

[Backdrifter]

You can have purely cyberspace exchanges with people and think "Wow!". And then you look forward to seeing more posts from them. But meeting them introduces a whole other dimension, it's true.

I often hear people authoritatively say "X% of communication is unconsciously via body language" and while I think the physical dimension is important I always find it hard to believe the figures I hear e.g. 70%, 80% etc. It makes me feel like I have little control over what I'm communicating - the stuff I'm consciously formulating i.e. the words is only 20% of what I communicate? That's dispiriting.

So does that mean someone like Stephen Hawking, with his voice generator, can only ever get across 30% of what he means? (That said, the actor/writer/director/madman Ken Campbell met Hawking and said he has definite "chair language").

[Briar_x]

sorry what?

I switched off when you started on mathematical stuff.

[Backdrifter]

heh heh heh - you mean, when I mentioned a couple of numbers?

[Briar_x]

yeah thats the one.

numbers what are they?

[mnko]

yes i fell in love with my wife b4 i met her in person

[*Red*Queen*]

Well I did, started talking in chatrooms, turned out he only lives 2 miles away from me, and we started meeting up, now we've been together nearly 2 years and are now engaged.

But anyone who does this please still be aware, not everyone is as lucky as me and finds someone genuine, there are still some people out there who are not who they are, so really do please be careful

[trevHCS]

Not sure about movie stars etc. as they'll probably turn out to be a complete disaster when you meet them, and they got better lawyers than you for the divorce!

But in answer to your question - it's certainly possible to get very close to someone for sure, but it's also pottentially dangerous as they might not turn out to be the person you thought they were. Been there, done it and luckily they were even better....now, if only I could work out how to get rid of her b/f. ;-)