Inappropriate Behaviour!

[petes_dragon]

Hi everyone.

Hope you can help, coz I'm in a right pickle!!

My son, husband and I stay at my mother-in-law's house every other weekend (Fri-Sun) as this is the only time we can arrange for them to see their grandson....(long story!!)

However, after my son is in bed we usually have a couple of glasses of wine and a chat etc. but over the last few months his step-dad keeps being a bit hands on - only when he's had a drink, but he keeps kind of 'groping' me (that's a bit exagerated bt I couldn't think of another word!)....he just kind of puts his hand on my leg or rubs my feet!!.....but this week he told me I have a lovely bum....and later on he tried to kiss me on the MOUTH!!!.........I was totally freaked out, I pulled out of the way and he apologised and I quickly made my excuses and went to bed!!

I've told my husband, but he just thinks it hilarious but its making me feel really uncomfortable while I'm at their house!! My hubby has been warned NEVER to leave me alone wih him and to always sit next to me on the sofa etc!!

What can I do, I can't say anything to him (to awkward) or to my mother in law (all hell would break loose!) and I can't stop going there.

Any help would be greatly appreciated

A xXx

[ELVIS68]

This needs to be nipped in the bud...dirty old man needs to be shamed infront of his wife, stand your ground and out him

[spk]

Thats horrible I would feel so uncomfortable. Im with Elvis on this one and give your hubby a clout for finding it funny. Dont put up with it xxx

[crete]

i wonder why your hubby finds the behaviour funny ? next time it happens say in a loud voice PLEASE DONT DO THAT AGAIN. in front of everyone especially his wife.

[nat_84]

I have an uncle who always tries to embarass every woman in the family by kissing them all over their face and hugging them for a ridiculously long time - simply because he knows we hate it. When we were younger he was worse.... he did it to everyone - me, my mum, my cousins, his daughter - because he's a joker and he knows people will laugh!

But if this step dad is trying to do this on the sly and with only the two of u in the room then i;d certainly be worried. Tell your hubby ur very serious and dont feel comfortable. Maybe he could have a word with him.

[Hellion]

ELVIS 68 is right, as your husband knows and is not really giving you much support try drawing attention to it and making a joke of it.
eg when he puts his hand on your leg say loudly 'oops did you mistake my leg for (mother in laws name)?

Personally I think your husband needs to support you though as this is really unpleasant, he doesn't support you, refuse to go there or take your son with you.

[Pippa68]

I can't see the funny side at all ~ what is your husband on? I would definately say something to your father in law..awkward or not. And yes, you should tell your husband this is serious.

I don't see why you should keep going there to be groped and made to feel uncomfortable. Alternatively, drop the visits to just once a month without giving a reason why. Your father in law may then be in fear of you giving the reason why..and stop this repulsive behaviour!

[suffragette]

I think you need to have a very serious conversation with your husband about this and point out you would appreciate his support in a matter that is causing you some distress.

If he continues to laugh off his step-fathers actions, I would suggest you refuse to attend further family gatherings until your husband agrees to have a quiet word with the dirty old lecher about his behaviour.

[flubber]

Why the heck don't you just seat your hubby in the middle of the sofa between you three? why don't you and you hubby make an advance plan to just drink coffee and have no alcohol? and why, for that matter, don't you simply thump the step dad on the nose (very hard)
If the every other weekend situation creates problems then simply change the rules, and slap your ignorant hubby....very hard.

[albertpuff]

I think you should slap the dirty old perv, or grab his goolies so hard he squeals like a pig.

[eyeshade]

If Crete's answer doesn't work, do you have to go as well?
Surely now and again you could stay at home and tell hubby that if he doesn't take you seriously then you have no alternative but to stay at home or..... mention it all matey like to Mrs mother in law, tell her and confide in her like a friend and see what she says.

[petes_dragon]

Thank you all for your answers.

I've spoken to my husband today and he told me he didn't realise how uncomfortable I felt. We've agreed that he will take our son for the next couple of visits and I will make my excuses to stay at home..............avoidance seems to be the best tactic for now!!

If it continues, I will definitely say something (very loudly) if it happens again though!

Thanks
A xXx

[woodchopper]

Call me old fashioned but, if someone started trying it on with my wife it would be pistols at dawn.