Is there any respect left?

[anotheoldgit]

If you were taking an invalid person for a little exercise on the park, but due to the person only being able to walk a few yards from one seat on the park to the next nearest one, and the next seat you came to was occupied by a young couple both reading a book, the female seated at one end of the seat and the male with his head on her lap and the rest of him streched over the rest of the seat, would you ask if your companion could be seated?

I know someone that asked this, and they were met with a nasty frosty look before they moved up just enough for the one person to be seated, but his elderly companion had to stand, until the old disabled person was ready to make it to the next bench.

What is the world coming to when there is no respect for anyone?

[B00]

Shocking isn't it?

Totally agree- not many people seem to have respect for themselves, so it's hardly surprising they are incapable of showing it to others!

[Lonnie]

I think Boo has hit on it, self respect, which really, in my view, brings it back to the parents and their upbringing.

[Grunty]

Fortunately it's not always like this. My sister and I took our mother (85) to a jazz session in a pub where we were not known. We were amazed at the speed with which the crowd moved apart, leaving seats in the middle for us.

[bednobs]

hmm, i dont know i agree with you. The people moved up for the invalid ... whch seems right. Why should they have to stand instead of the companion though?. If the person can only walk a small way. they would have seen that the bench as full before they started to move there, therefore the couple had the option to turn round and go back to the previous bench, or to a different one. i dont see that people should be afforded respect just because of their age. Maybe the young couple were also disabled?

[Carakeel]

Yes, it really is sad that we cannot ask people to be civil and courteous anymore without having to fear being verbally abused, looked at as though we had just crept out from under a pile of dog p00 or in the worst case even physically attacked. There is no respect for the elderly or the disabled or even for pregnant women with young children anymore. I am not saying that it is only young people who behave badly; some older folks do as well, without a doubt. Before I became disabled I always stood up for the elderly etc. if was seated. I opened doors to those less able-bodied than me. Now I am disabled and I find very few fit people will do this for me. I am so lucky to have a loving partner who doesn't treat me like a dis-functional person, but like a lady ... with respect, support and loads of love.

[Carakeel]

bednobs, don't you think though that if two people are sitting on a bench (most benches are designed for 4-5 people) and two even able-bodied people approach and would like to sit there too - wouldn't it be the polite thing to do to move over and let them have a seat? Assuming that nobody is going to be crowded that is ...

[noxlumos]

I think it's very rude and very wrong yes, but I don't find this to be a particularly modern phenomena. I was born in 1960 and can remember similar incidents occuring 40 years ago, so I don't think standards are much different now to the 60's to be honest. They should however have moved before anyone had to ask them, I know my kids would.

[bednobs]

sorry but no, i dont think that. The people who were using a public bench and who were there first made room for, when asked to, a disabled person. i cant see how this is a bad thing. The question didnt say that the other person had asked to sit down too, so perhaps they were thinking heshe didnt want to sit down

[anotheoldgit]

Oh dear bednobs, you seem to be of the same character as the young couple in question, and judging by the rest of the answers to my question, in the minority.
No one said they had to stand for the elderly companion, the seat was for four people, it would just have meant the male sitting up instead of lying down.
As regards seeing the bench was full before moving there. The very simple answer to this!!!, the bench was around a corner out of sight until reached.
Your pathetic assumption, (so as to somehow defend your views) that maybe the couple were also disabled, beggers all belief.
And finally was you not taught from an early age to show some respect for your elders, your parents and grand parents for example?

[jake-the-peg]

I know what you mean but I deeply disagree with the idea that it's a deteriorating condition.

I rememer "oldgits" from my childhood berating the "youth of today" and looking back to a golden age

Cicero wrote 'O temore, O mores!' Oh the times, oh the morals 2000 years ago.

The fact is that young people have never respected their elders in the way that the older generation think they should.

How long have we had signs asking you to give up you seat for disabled people on trains? - certainly as long as I can remember

Why were they needed at all - obviously because people weren't doing it.

So yes it is sad but I really don't think it's anything new

[bednobs]

i think that everyone should be afforded the same respect, whether they are 10 50 or 70, old people do not get special treatment in my world because i actually try and rspect every one regardless, unless they do some thing to lose it (for example, someone calling me pathetic just because i disagree with their pov?!).

you obviously didnt read my answer very well,. In you original q you said that they asked for the disabled person to sit down - why didnt they just ask for them both to sit down rather than stand there fuming? as i said, perhaps they assumed the stander didnt want to sit down, as they didnt ask - they dont know all the back history regarding disabled, exercise, fresh air blah blah did they? The reson i like to give people the benefit of the doubt is that i am disabled myself, and beng a relatively young person, people are always making assumptions about me ... i e when i park in a disabled space i get loads of stares, people get cross if they are behind me and im going slow etc. Perhaps these people had te same illness as me, which would make it difficult for them to get up? yu just NEVER know. If it really bothered your friend, he could have just said "can i sit as well please"

[Dassie]

This discussion highlights an issue concerning common sense and lack of thought for others. When I was young you used your commonsense and in this scenario you'd just make room for both people without asking. I hardly think the man was so disabled that he could not sit up instead of lying down otherwise how did he get there in the first place? There would then have been room for everybody.
Commonsense seems to have gone out the window nowadays. Witness the people who meet at a supermarket doorway and without a thought for others then proceed to block it with their trolleys so no one can get past!