A Coffin Or A Casket?

[TherefinedByron]

At first, I was about to purchase a crib but seems like a refined body of mine, couldn't fit in such a miniature size of the crib. Would it be better, for a refined man like me, to sleep in a casket? A coffin would cause splinters when sleeping without my, extra long, frockcoat on. I would need a new casket that is long enough to fit both of my body and my gorgeous 12-inch top hat in, so I could snack during the night.
I shall never sleep in bed since my scrumptious brussel sprouts always lost. Someone ith stealing my Brussel Sprouts! I shall call the cop to find the corn on the cob and arrest the depredator.

[SIRandyraven]

I think a padded cell is the best solution for your needs.