Neither A Rant Or A Question.

[sandyRoe]

A friend invited me out to lunch last week. When we met she gave me a belated birthday present. Prior to that meeting she'd been using a walking stick. This time she had a walking frame. She's not yet 50 yet her illness seems to be progressing at a rapid pace.
Another friend told me today that he's had a phone call from his oncologists secretary to arrange an appointment.
We should cherish our friends.

[jennyjoan]

Yes we should Sandy - we should cherish our friends and our friends should cherish theirs too - particularly when you have known them for over 30 years and then wham - goodbye!

[jno]

indeed, I had an email from a former colleague last week, saying his son - mid-30s - had passed away in a hospice, leaving a wife and newborn baby. No parents should have to see their children die.

[douglas9401]

Life can really suck sometimes.

[sandyRoe]

I'm feeling down. I think when my friend was back in America she was there to say goodbye to her brothers and sister.
It's my turn now to invite her to lunch. How do I talk about her condition?

[FatticusInch]

Just be sympathetic and do a lot of reminiscing, as well as maybe something special like an afternoon tea somewhere swanky?
Whatever you do, make it memorable.

[Peter Pedant]

I usually begin 'I am very sorry to hear that news...'

My nephew ( heavily immuno-suppressed for Churg-Strauss) asked me how I was and I said " well it is better than being dead"
and he said - god I said that last week to someone...

[JimF]

A very good pal of mine has a degenerative, incurable disease and he just wants his friends to treat him "as normal". So we don't make any reference to his condition when we're down the pub. Of course, we give him a hand when it's his round - spilling someone's pint is a malkaying offence!

[Bobbisox1]

Sandy I always try to live by that ,Cherish those you love and like, Fatts gives you some excellent advice , keep it light and keep it memorable

[sandyRoe]

PP, that made me smile. We're none of us dead yet.

[anneasquith]

Sandy, I’m sorry to hear of friend’s illnesses.
Ask her if she wishes to discuss her illness, or if you can help her in anyway. I’m sure you will be an excellent listener. She will take the lead on the conversation.
Are you well Sandy ?

[Peter Pedant]

PP, that made me smile. We're none of us dead yet.
some of us have you noticed, are dead from the neck up

I get wheeled out a lot, as I may NOT have gone into remission before I relapsed ( god they die plenty plenty quick)
had 'salvage chemotherapy' - give you some idea of the success of that
and have been in remission since 2016.
(" we know this happens but have no idea how long you will live")

[sandyRoe]

PP, hang on as long as you can.
Annie, I'm still sober despite all the stress

[DTCwordfan]

my ex gf from Uni days passed away three weeks ago - seven weeks from diagnosis to death but that is pancreatic cancer for you. One hell of a shock though and as we had seen each other a few times in the last decade and had fun.....and reminisced.

[roopower]

We should indeed, sandy, and we do need to be reminded.

[Sqad]

Never had friends but only acquaintances and my life has never been centred around friends. If they died, then they died, all of us have to die sometime.
I only had two loves of my life.....my job and Mrs sqad.

Sorry about the post, but that is all I have to say on this, clearly emotional matter.

[Khandro]

Sqad, What? never had a friend! never had anyone you would trust with your life ?

[Sqad]

Khandro......no idea as I have never had it put to the test.

[Peter Pedant]

Surgeons appear to be like this

here is another in a POW camp with my father - Brig Crook RAMC.

https://www.thetimes.co.uk/article/brigadier-anthony-cook-rk7sr8lbjb7

He was the surgeon present but not shot at the massacre of Wormhoudt 1940 - a famous war crime but not as famous as the one at Malmedy 1945. Same regiment ( Adolf Hitler einstandardt regiment). And then Crook was locked up in Spangenberg along with my father.

He also led a compartmentalised life. When he died not one of his five daughters realised he was a doctor as well as an Army Officer and omitted to tell the BMJ or GMC. He remained on the medical register ( as a non payer) until he was 105

[bednobs]

sandy, why do you have to talk to your friend about her illness at all>