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PinkFizz | 11:09 Wed 20th Sep 2006 | Law
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I have 2 son's that live with my ex and I see at weekends(when he lets me!).I also have a daughter who also lived with him but came to live with me permanently when she was 14 and is now 18.I tried to get CSA for her but never ever heard a thing or got a penny,even though his name is still on their records as an open case(??).She has now left home!

He has now after all these years decided it would be really funny to claim CSA from me for the son who is 13.I have been sent a form last week which is demanding my partners salary as well as mine.(partner is fuming).

I haven't had a chance to send it back yet and today I got another quite serious letter saying that I have only 7 days to reply or else they will make a calculation on the information that they have!! What information???

And how the hell can they do this when they never chased him?? Im baffled and furious!!
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There are a lot of us out there that have had to put up with violence. Thats got nothing to do with bringing up and paying for your children
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I give up!!

All I wanted to know was how one claim to the CSA gets ignored and yet another is followed - thats all.

And I never chose to contact the CSA - i was automatically sent the forms when my daughter moved in with me - I have no idea why.
ok, calm answer.

Probably because they already have your details on file and therefore you are easier to find hun. as you said, your ex refused the correspondence that came to him and had not had direct contact with the CSA himself so only the detaisl that you gave will have been on the file and even though they are correct there was no direct evidence of this.
I can't see why you're mad. If you had both claimed csa when he had two children and you had one you probably would have ended up having to pay him something. Now there is only one child who qualifys you have a duty to support him. It doesnt matter if your ex is minted or why you split up or if he's only doing it to wind you up. You chose to have children together and you have the responsibility to support them.

My partners son has lived with us for just over a year and his mum has not even so much as bought him a pair of socks in that time. She ignores anything from the csa and thinks we should support him cos I am there so we have more money than her. I think shes a disgrace and he must feel so hurt to know his mum cares about him so little she would rather buy fags and weed.

The boy is yours and quite rightly you should have some financial responsibility for him untill he no longer qualifies. I agree with ummm that some people think only dads should pay maintainence and I think there are a lot of women who like to play victim when it comes to supporting their children when they are the absent parent. Sorry if this all sounds harsh but its what I think
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beanmistriss - as I have said endlessley but nobody seems to be listening - I do not for a second think that only fathers should pay.What I am saying is that when one of our children decided she didn't want to live with him anymore he decided that he would have nothing to do with her and refused to pay a penny to the csa,yet even when he has refused to let me often see my son's I have still bought their school uniform and sent it over,bought them mobile phones to contact me,put credit on them,paid yearly bus passes,etc etc etc,even bought food shopoing as they were growing lads and taken that over,even though I had to leave it on the doorstep as he wouldnt answer the door.

Yet even after all that he has out of the blue put in a csa claim against me when I probably spend more a week on what I have listed then what the csa would award!!

I just think that he should have helped toward his daughter,especially when I was a single parent with often barely enough food to feed us both at times.

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