When A Crush You Had Has Died

[Bobbisox1]

I was around 19, he was a drummer in a band at the pub we went to , a WM Club, he took me home afterwards a few times, he was good looking with the long hair of the time, always immaculately dressed, something caught my eye on FB, his name , I asked it was the one who played in the band, yes it was , he’d died 1999, I know it was forever ago but I still got that sense of loss remembering him

[gness]

He can take any one, Arky....except for the pink one!

[Arksided]

Well that just seems unlawful... and a tad scary

[gness]

No need to be scared, Arky. I come with a pink fondant fancy warning.

[Arksided]

***DON'T RISK IT DAVE!!!***

[pastafreak]

Not a crush, but my first husband.
I was going through a family research phase a few years ago, and decided to Google him. He had a rather unusual name so I knew that whatever came up could only be him. I was shocked to discover that he'd died in 1994 at just 51 years old. Even though our parting wasn't particularly amicable...I never heard from him after we went our seperate ways in 1980...I still felt some sadness. He was a heavy-ish drinker, and an epileptic...so I wondered if that combination was a cause.

[Milo2]

The first person that I had a crush on married a good friend of mine. Fortunately, it didn’t bother me as I had met my husband by then.

[Arksided]

Awe that is sad BM.

Going back to Bobbie's op, the only one I can think of is on FB still with us, we weren't 'together together' she's only 50 but the ailments that have befallen her are really quite sad.

[Sqad]

LOL...I just don't understand this world of make believe that many of you , almost all female, live in.

"Crush" is temporary and in the past and almost certainly meaningless now who's death would mean nothing to me, certainly not to mention and discuss on a web site.

Bobbie, this is not a criticism of you or the OP, but is just my feelingd on the subject.

[Bobbisox1]

Sqad even I don’t think you’re ‘unfeeling’ the way you want us to believe , I think it’s a front you put up

[Barmaid]

Bobbi, I am not sure I agree with you on Sqad. In many ways he reminds me of my late grandfather (although a much younger version of course since Pops would now be 121). He was very unsentimental and could come across as unfeeling - but it was just his way. Perhaps there was something in the water in the town they both grew up in or at the school they both attended.

[Sqad]

Bobbie......there is nothing much I can do about that and I do have feelings but different to most ABers it seems.

The post is about a crush......the death of whom would be noted, sad for the relatives and friends, but to me......that is all. I have learned a lot about the psyche of the majority women since being on AB......

Looking back all or most of my "crushes" developed into actual, physical relationships and I would feel exactly the same on their death as I do about crushes.

[bhg481]

At the beginning of the pandemic I was given free access to the ancestry website so I had a look round both my and my wife's family history. I was rather surprised to find that my wife was dead; so was she when I told her.

[Arksided]

Sqad, Have you taken your Ibuprofen today.

[gness]

What a time to find out, bhg. You couldn’t even have a good wake. ;-)

[Bobbisox1]

Sad we’re you the whip it, whip out , wipe it on the curtains kinda bloke? Feelings under wraps?

[roopower]

I remember several of my exboyfriends fondly. Two, who were much older than me, I was in touch with until last year when they both died. I miss one of them a lot, even though we were just friends on the end of a phone occasionally. I had known him since the 70s.

[Smowball]

Sorry I’m late to the party, I’ve just read all the comments - barmaid, your husband had a stroke on your honeymoon!?? xx

[Bobbisox1]

And I wrote Sqad not Sad :0(