how can my friend solve her dilemma?

[bubbles4920]

a friend of mine works evenings during the week. an indian woman at work who does the same shift has become over friendly with her, always buying her things, touching her face etc and now she turns up at her house unannounced during the day. my friend text her last week and explained she likes her space and privacy. we are not sure if she fully understands English and the text messages. she isnt getting her housework done nor paperwork. when the woman comes round she does the washing up and hoovering. now she doesnt even text or phone to see if my friend is in so there is just no warning that she will knock and then walk in. my friend is getting so stressed out about it, what can she do? she came round yesterday so she obviously hasnt got the message. my friend is a nice person and doesnt like being horrible to people but i can say that she hasnt encouraged this i am sure.

[crete]

tell your friend to keep the door locked.

[PinkFizz]

What a nightmare! Is there another work colleague that could have a word with this woman?

[admarlow]

and pretend she isn't in!!

[bubbles4920]

she could pretend she isnt in but she has a little boy who may be difficult to keep quiet. also, her car is parked outside so the woman could keep coming back just when you think the coast is clear! i dont think she could get anyone else to say anything.

[PinkFizz]

Well she must talk to this woman - or else what on earth do they say to each other when she comes round?

[bubbles4920]

my friend says that sometimes she doesnt understand this woman as she isnt too good at english, so perhaps she doesnt understand my friend! i will ask her what they talk about yes as she does stay for about 4 hours at a time and then she has to drop her off at home when my friend goes to collect her eldest daughter from school. thats a nightmare too as she knows she will get a lift home; she catches 2 buses to get here! nightmare or what!

[PinkFizz]

Good god! Well,I think that your friend is going to have to talk to her at work,and somehow get her to understand that she isnt getting anything done at home with visitors all the time.Are they the only two people at work,could someone else not help with the conversation?

[bubbles4920]

my friend has even said she isnt getting things done but this woman says that she will help her. hints have been made at work but she just doesnt seem to get it! my friend was even thinking of hiding in back bedroom with little boy and tv but she shouldnt have to do this, or for her to go out for the day, which again she shouldnt have to do! the woman seems to come every other day so my friend can sort of gauge it. i even suggested saying that she now has a little job during the day but the woman would want one too she thinks. also, if my friend were to say she had to go somewhere the woman would just tag along. short of moving home or murder, what can be done!!??

[PinkFizz]

Does this Indian woman have a husband she could talk to??

[Pea Pod]

If your friend still has the things she has given her,she returns them.If she wants to end this she must be brave and tell this woman to her face. I don`t want you to come to my home again,if you do the door will be locked and you will not get in. We can still be friends at work but please donot buy me any gifts.It will take a lot of nerve to do this, but otherwise her life will be ruined.

[Jay70]

Send her round to me and she can do my washing and hoovering.

[Rubyrose]

I completely agree with Pea Pod! Return all items, and tell the woman straight! If she does not under stand then I would definately get someone in who does. I would talk to this womans boss and tell them whats happening.. AND I would make it clear that if she touches my face again.. I will damage hers!!! What a weirdo! Your friend needs to sort this NOW before it gets way out of control. Can you not be with your friend when she tells this woman whats what? Or..... get a restraining order!

[beejaybee]

I had this problem years ago. It went on for almost 6months. In the end I said that it wasn`t convenient for me to have a visitor when she came round. Next time, "I had a lot to do/ going to my mum`s / going out / wasn`t feeling well/ had the runs. After a week or so the hints were taken.