Overnight babysitting

[flump1]

I know someone who is going away for a night over this coming weekend and is leaving her children with a boy of 15, ( her children are 13 and 10) . The 'sitter is a friend of the childrens' . Is this illegal or perfectly legal and I am just over-reacting? I am astounded she would do this, Her reasoning being ,they do not want to accompany her on her trip and she has left them with this boy before. I am flabergasted ,I remember being left by my own mother at any early age and how it made me feel. If I talk to her I am giving her a hard time. I am concerned, Am I over-reacting and are these things more common practise now? I do not have children so maybe I do not have the same opinions ?

[sunny30]

Oh my goodness.....i would never leave kids with a 15 year old all night, i am a mother of two and if my kids cant come iwth me or be with a adult for looking after,want be going anywhere.
The boy needs looking after all night to, i dont know if it is legal or not i just know its crazy, he is only 2 years older than the 13 year old.
I think i was 15 before i got left on my own in the house, but not all night only for a few hours, i do leave my 12 year old on her own but its only for 30 mins at the most and during the day. are you going to say anything?

[tradey]

god theres no way id leave my kids with a 15yr old over night i wouldnt even leave my 2yr old with her 17yr old sister yet.baby sitting for a few hours yes but over night, id say something to her but in a nice way

[flump1]

Sunny and tradey, thanks for your replies. You have reinforced my opinion that this is not the actions of a responsible parent. She knows how I feel about it, I was just wondering if I was worrying needlessly. Thankfully there will be adults on the end of a phone just minutes away. ( she is going 2 hours away ) . I am just stunned that she would consider it , yet alone actually do it. I am at my wits end as to what to say to her. I feel she is taking the most dangerous risks with her childrens' welfare. It is not a business purpose but a pleasure one that I feel could be better planned. Thanks again .

[maggie01]

If she is a friend flump, is there any way that perhaps you could help out.

[flump1]

Hi Maggie, I would but my car is bust !! And I live a fair way from her. Not a direct route. I have investegated the children coming to me but they age they can travel on national coaches without an adult means that is not an option.

[noxlumos]

Actually I think you might be overreacting but since I know none of the kids concerned I really can't pass a meaningful judgement on it.
Firstly it most certainly is NOT illegal.
You will quite often find that social Services will place older kids 13, 14, 15 in their own flats, depending upon their level of maturity.
The children being babysat are not young children and may be quite reasponsible themselves and sensible.
My sons when they were 13 upwards often babysat for us as they were very responsible and mature and I had utter faith in their abilities.
The crux is the level of maturity of the kids ( all of them), the backup the lad has if things went really wrong,how far away the mother is and if their are any known complications ( like one of the kids being epileptic maybe etc).
If their mother feels that it is perfectly safe knowing her own children then perhaps you need to consider she may indeed know best,there are adults available in a crisis and she's only 2 hours away herself. However if you are convinced that the children will be in serious jeopardy then talk to her and express your concerns again, but she make take it that you are casting doubts on her parenting abilities and that will not go down well.
Personally I'd allow her to parent her children a she sees fit as she has clearly made arrangements and thought about backup assistance should anything go wrong.

[flump1]

noxlomus, thanks for your input to this question. Indeed the children concerned are all mature , good ,level-headed children. I am worried that during the time without an adult, meals will be needed and these three lads are not capable of fnding for themselves. ( Well maybe a pot-noodle or something cold ) . I believe they are all sensible and they do have back-up close by. In all other aspects this lady is a great mother and does the job on her own. I also worry about security and three boys of a vunerable age alone overnight . Maybe I am too much of a worrier ?

[ummmm]

I think you are over reacting. If the children were under five I'd be worried but not at 13 and 10. As long as she has back up in case of an emergency I wouldn't worry. As for the food, let them slum it. It'll do no harm to live on pot noodles and cereal for a day

[sassenach]

I think you are being a little harsh too. A 15 year old should be able to fend for himself and the others including simple meals, bearing in mind you can leave home at 16 and many people do. I think as long as she knows the boy well and is sure he is mature and capable there isn't much of a problem.

[dancecaller]

Growing up and being responsible isn't a yes/no it's a process.
If she has left them for shorter periods and it worked and there is backup available should be OK
As long as they don't see having the house to themselves as an excuse for a party or mischief (maybe she could ask the backup to wander past the window)

[whyme]

OOH - This ones a toughie. My kids are, 24, 17, and 15 and i only started to leave them on their own overnight last year. That was also with the threat of death if they had any parties!! Just hope the lad is mature and he has emergency no.'s, to call if any thing goes wrong or he needs help. Personally I feel he's to young for the responsibility, but surely your mate must trust him? I know I would have felt very uneasy about leaving mine with someone so young, and for so many hours.

[Donna69]

It wouldnt be me!!!

[Donna69]

To Noxus
What social service dept is is that leaves children in their own flats at 13, 14 and 15???? Im very curious.

[dennisman]

you don't know what the 15 year is doing
he my find the 13 year attractive i have seen worse