Motivating Boys

[caro_]

Hi
Somebody somewhere give me some ideas on how to motivate my 8yo. He is clever, articulate, smart, stubborn, lazy, demotivated, lacks concentration, unruly in class, has only a few friends and says school work bores him.

We have tested for ADD, ADHD,hyperactivity and dyslexia but he passes them all. In the past school have thought he had behavioural problems but this is not the case. He is demotivated. It's driving me wild! He does have low self-esteem and we try our best to boost this but any suggestions more than welcome

[noxlumos]

Well I have to agree with him to be honest, a lot of school work is boring and if he's a bright kid then he'll find it even more so. If he's paricularly bright then he'll have little in common with his peer group so will find school a real ordeal. Try speaking with his teachers and seeing if they won't support you in having him set some more interesting work instead of or alongside his usual work, and pitch it to him as if he's being rewarded by doing a special project rather than punished by being given more work. I'm afraid to a large extent you are in the lap of the Gods with how good the school is to be honest and how hepful they want to be. Some are great and some just want to blame his homelife/ parents etc for everything. Just try to make sure he is given things he can be successful at and try to work his self esteem up, which in turn will make him more motivated and happy in his everyday life. It's a very difficult situation you are in and I wish you all the luck in the world.

[Joe99]

Everyone wants to place their kids in the "normal" category. If the kid is outside of we think ought to be normal, we immediately want to diagnose a condition and correct the "deficiency". If the kid were abnormally motivated and unusually articulate and hard working we'd consider him gifted. Swing the pendulum the other way and we want to figure out what's wrong and fix it.

My advice... leave the kid alone already. Provide him with a happy, healthy and loving home environment and let him find his own way.

If all else fails, buy him a drum set. Can't go wrong with that with a boy.

[RATTER15]

How about something like joining a martial arts club or an evening club as an extra bit of mental stimuli for him.

[caro_]

Thanks all. RATTER15 - he is at Karate as I post this. This is his third week and so far he is loving it! He is certainly not a team player and so far this seems to suit him.