News1 min ago
Grandparents Rights To See Grandchild
9 Answers
I have posted on here before relating to a very difficult situation some friends/family by marriage, are experiencing following the tragic death of their daughter.
The father, who was divorced from the mother, who has died, has parental responsibility for the child, aged 15 currently. The child has, since his mother died, been visiting his mother's family once a week, although the father hasn't made it easy. Now, it seems that the father, and his new partner, are forbidding the child to visit his mother's family. The father's new partner has said that one of the child's aunts is trying to take the place of his mother, so she doesn't want him to see any of his mother's family any more. The child wants to visit.
I believe that grand parents have no automatic rights to contact with their grand children, but is there any facility by which they could obtain a court order for them to be allowed to do so. I know that the courts will always be considering what is in the best interests of the child, but am not able to see a way where it isn't in his best interests to see his mother's family. She raised him alone, from his being 8, with help from her family. The father took very little interest in his son then, but now of course he has no alternative but to have his son residing with him and his new family.
I should say that the son is adopted, not sure if that would make any difference. The mother had been slowly and gently putting in place ways in which he could have knowledge and possible future contact with his birth mother, but the father is absolutely refusing to have anything to do with having that happen. Would social services be involved in this case, and would approaching them help?
The relationship between the child's father and his mother's family is dreadful. I have suggested that maybe mediation could be the way forward but none of them will even consider it.
The father, who was divorced from the mother, who has died, has parental responsibility for the child, aged 15 currently. The child has, since his mother died, been visiting his mother's family once a week, although the father hasn't made it easy. Now, it seems that the father, and his new partner, are forbidding the child to visit his mother's family. The father's new partner has said that one of the child's aunts is trying to take the place of his mother, so she doesn't want him to see any of his mother's family any more. The child wants to visit.
I believe that grand parents have no automatic rights to contact with their grand children, but is there any facility by which they could obtain a court order for them to be allowed to do so. I know that the courts will always be considering what is in the best interests of the child, but am not able to see a way where it isn't in his best interests to see his mother's family. She raised him alone, from his being 8, with help from her family. The father took very little interest in his son then, but now of course he has no alternative but to have his son residing with him and his new family.
I should say that the son is adopted, not sure if that would make any difference. The mother had been slowly and gently putting in place ways in which he could have knowledge and possible future contact with his birth mother, but the father is absolutely refusing to have anything to do with having that happen. Would social services be involved in this case, and would approaching them help?
The relationship between the child's father and his mother's family is dreadful. I have suggested that maybe mediation could be the way forward but none of them will even consider it.
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Sadly, as a grandparent, you do not have legal rights, even if you have moral ones.
Social services and the courts will only become involved if there is evidence that the child is suffering emotional or physical harm I'm the home, and from your story, this does not seem to be the case.
Your grandson is old enough to maintain contact with you if he wishes to do so.
Sorry not to be able to offer more welcome advice.
Social services and the courts will only become involved if there is evidence that the child is suffering emotional or physical harm I'm the home, and from your story, this does not seem to be the case.
Your grandson is old enough to maintain contact with you if he wishes to do so.
Sorry not to be able to offer more welcome advice.
You can apply to the Family Court for a contact order but that is very much a last resort
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I can't imagine how utterly heartbreaking it is to lose your child and then lose contact with your grandchild.
In almost all of the cases of child murders and cruelty in recent years (Star Hobson, Arthur Labinjo-Hughes), there is a jealous step parent involved.
//The father's new partner has said that one of the child's aunts is trying to take the place of his mother, so she doesn't want him to see any of his mother's family any more//
It sounds like the deceased woman and her family is being erased from their lives.
Alarm bells...
Yes, Social Services should be involved.
In almost all of the cases of child murders and cruelty in recent years (Star Hobson, Arthur Labinjo-Hughes), there is a jealous step parent involved.
//The father's new partner has said that one of the child's aunts is trying to take the place of his mother, so she doesn't want him to see any of his mother's family any more//
It sounds like the deceased woman and her family is being erased from their lives.
Alarm bells...
Yes, Social Services should be involved.
Thanks for the insights. I really didn't thing grandparents had any legal rights, and I'm sure no-one wants to go down the court route if it can be avoided. But if it's the only way .......
I had not thought of all this in the way that's been mentioned about alarm bells, but actually, having heard some of the things that this boy has told his mothers family (always taking into account the inclination of teenagers to over exaggerate sometimes), it sounds as though he is very unhappy with his father and new family. It seems that they don't make him very welcome or comfortable, and apparently they won't allow him to have a photo of his mother in the house, he can only have it in his bedroom.
It isn't always easy to know for sure the full truth of what comes out of a teenagers mouth, but personally I believe there is a core of truth in it. Even when his mother was alive, he didn't care to go to stay with his father because they acted as though it was an imposition.
I wonder whether his mother had involved social services again, with the plans for him to eventually meet his birth mother, maybe she would have to have done this. Maybe there is a social worker who is familiar with the family and they could make an approach informally.
It's terribly sad that it has all come to this. The loss of this boy's mother was tragic, and as there has been no inquest they don't yet know the detail of her death. To have all this hanging over them and being denied their grandchild, but worse than that, the child being denied his mother's family is just so terribly wrong.
I had not thought of all this in the way that's been mentioned about alarm bells, but actually, having heard some of the things that this boy has told his mothers family (always taking into account the inclination of teenagers to over exaggerate sometimes), it sounds as though he is very unhappy with his father and new family. It seems that they don't make him very welcome or comfortable, and apparently they won't allow him to have a photo of his mother in the house, he can only have it in his bedroom.
It isn't always easy to know for sure the full truth of what comes out of a teenagers mouth, but personally I believe there is a core of truth in it. Even when his mother was alive, he didn't care to go to stay with his father because they acted as though it was an imposition.
I wonder whether his mother had involved social services again, with the plans for him to eventually meet his birth mother, maybe she would have to have done this. Maybe there is a social worker who is familiar with the family and they could make an approach informally.
It's terribly sad that it has all come to this. The loss of this boy's mother was tragic, and as there has been no inquest they don't yet know the detail of her death. To have all this hanging over them and being denied their grandchild, but worse than that, the child being denied his mother's family is just so terribly wrong.
The problem is, Social Services are vastly under resourced, and have to prioritise their enquiries, which necessarily focus on serious evidenced cases of abuse.
Your problem as a grandparent is your distance from the family, and your ability to build a case sufficient to get Social Services to start investigating.
I wish you every success.
Your problem as a grandparent is your distance from the family, and your ability to build a case sufficient to get Social Services to start investigating.
I wish you every success.
I honestly believe his new stepmother really resents him being there, and his father doesn't do nearly enough to support him by going against what she says. She has two teenage children of her own and was widowed rather than divorced.
The more I hear, the more I fear for this boy. I don't think they would abuse him physically (fingers crossed hope not), but the psychological torment he must be going through is hard to contemplate. He is quite vulnerable anyway, it was believed he had a learning disability, but I think it is more that he doesn't achieve academically but has incredible skills in other areas. Skills that frankly need nurturing. He has been diagnosed with ADD which doesn't help with his behaviour sometimes.
I have since discovered that he will be 16 in march next year, I had thought he was only just 15. So at that stage, he will at least be able to vote with his feet more. His plans, he has disclosed to the husband of his aunt (her second husband), are to leave when he is 16 and would like to live with them. They have had issues in the past with one of their sons, and social services have been involved in the past. He is now an adult, so that has lapsed. My understanding is that once you are 16 you can leave home, and cannot be forced back, unless it can be shown you are unsafe.
At that rate, the court route may well take longer than waiting until he's 16. To be honest, if he was my grandson I would be round at his father's house knocking on the door and refusing to move until we had discussed the situation. Sadly that is not going to happen as the relationship between the father and the grandparents is so bad, they don't communicate at all.
I feel very sorry for them all, two of my grandchildren are in the thick of all this, as their mother is the sister of the deceased mother. Luckily for them they are at university and going back in a couple of weeks, so can at least separate themselves from it a bit. As friends also of the couple whose daughter died, you can't help but want to do all you can to assist them with these difficulties. Fingers crossed they can keep contact with him somehow until he turns 16 and can make some of his own decisions.
The more I hear, the more I fear for this boy. I don't think they would abuse him physically (fingers crossed hope not), but the psychological torment he must be going through is hard to contemplate. He is quite vulnerable anyway, it was believed he had a learning disability, but I think it is more that he doesn't achieve academically but has incredible skills in other areas. Skills that frankly need nurturing. He has been diagnosed with ADD which doesn't help with his behaviour sometimes.
I have since discovered that he will be 16 in march next year, I had thought he was only just 15. So at that stage, he will at least be able to vote with his feet more. His plans, he has disclosed to the husband of his aunt (her second husband), are to leave when he is 16 and would like to live with them. They have had issues in the past with one of their sons, and social services have been involved in the past. He is now an adult, so that has lapsed. My understanding is that once you are 16 you can leave home, and cannot be forced back, unless it can be shown you are unsafe.
At that rate, the court route may well take longer than waiting until he's 16. To be honest, if he was my grandson I would be round at his father's house knocking on the door and refusing to move until we had discussed the situation. Sadly that is not going to happen as the relationship between the father and the grandparents is so bad, they don't communicate at all.
I feel very sorry for them all, two of my grandchildren are in the thick of all this, as their mother is the sister of the deceased mother. Luckily for them they are at university and going back in a couple of weeks, so can at least separate themselves from it a bit. As friends also of the couple whose daughter died, you can't help but want to do all you can to assist them with these difficulties. Fingers crossed they can keep contact with him somehow until he turns 16 and can make some of his own decisions.
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