ChatterBank1 min ago
When Did Airport Staff Stop Asking Passengers...
...if they'd packed their bags themselves?
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When they realised that anybody who had not packed their own bags and was up to something dodgy would probably answer that question in the affirmative anyway. In other words, when they realised it was stupid question and they were wasting their breath.
Four of us were once travelling to Calais from Dover in my mate's brand new car. We were pulled over for a check before driving on to the ferry:
"Good morning, sir. Are you carrying any drugs, contraband or guns?"
"Oh yes" said one of our fellow travellers, who was on a diet and as a result was starving and irracible "Loads of guns. Kalashnikovs, Glocks, the lot."
"Right! Out the car all of you!"
They took my mate's new car to pieces. Seats out, door trims removed. Raised it up on a ramp like they do in Kwik-Fit, prodded and poked at its underside. Meanwhile, we sat shivering on the quayside (it was February) and watched our ferry and the one after that leave for France full of happy souls (and their fully assembled cars). They left the entrails of our car on the floor but kindly allowed us to remain in their shed whilst we reassembled it.
The lesson learned (apart from how to reassemble a Ford Fiesta XR3i): never joke with a security bod at a port or an airport - especially about guns.
Been asked at Bristol a couple of times recently. Many years ago going through Heathrow and flying EL AL they asked me and after I told them I had packed myself they still took my case apart. Think it may have been because I was going to work with the MFO which was set up after the Camp David meetings.
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