A Funeral Question

[Vagus]

A service is held in a church. Then there is a cremation at a crematorium ten miles away from the church. Followed by a get together at a place near the church.

Does everyone who goes to the church service then go to the crematorium too? Is it acceptable to just go to the crematorium, or just the church service? What's the etiquette?

[Vagus]

The deceased lady's father was a teenage friend of the family my dad was adopted by, and was very good to my dad who was eight. He bought my dad his first bike and took him on days out, etc., and was very much a big brother to him.

Although this lady and her family aren't blood relatives, they've been a big part of our lives and whilst the connection has loosened since my dad died we have kept in touch.

I want to show respect for her, and her remaining family by doing the right thing...for them, not me.

Thank you all for your input.

 

[naomi24]

Good for you, vagus.  That's nice.

[retrocop]

I take after my father in the matter of wakes. I am happy to sit through a church service and have been known,when invited by the co-ordinator, to contribute some funny reminiscences. I hate wakes like the plague and am happy to go on my own or wife to celebrate the life of the deceased with my thoughts and my own paid for drink.

My father laid out flat the village R.C. priest in their front parlour when he visited his old house in the Valleys to give comfort to his dying mother but was too late. That is another story.

[10ClarionSt]

Naomi @ 12.57:

"Funerals aren't really for the dead - they're for the living."

As Cicero said: "The lives of the dead are in the memories of the living"

[Peter Pedant]

oh clarion you ARE a saucy fellow. You knew I wd spend useful time tracking down the quote in Latin

In this  case Phillipc, 9 . 10 - and yes I did read the preceding 8

 vita enim mortuorum in memoria est posita vivorum2 v

the life of the dead is held in the memory of the living  - only thing is translation of posita