'They' Is Irritating Me Immensely

[barry1010]

Police appeal for missing person shows a photo of a 25 year old 'manly' man named Alec. Police say they need to know that 'they' are okay.

One man is missing. Stop mangling language 😡

[bhg481]

I agree. Ever since the feminists started complaining about the use of "He" for an unknown gender and insisted we use "He or she" or "They" language has gone down hill.

[Auntypoll]

Using 'they' is not mangling the English language. As a pronoun it's always been used to refer to a person whose gender is not known or does not need to be mentioned.The use of they, their, them, and themselves as pronouns of indefinite gender and indefinite number is well established in speech and writing, even in literary and formal contexts

[barry1010]

The feminists have done us some favours, though.  I don't need to refer to actors and actresses, conductors and conductresses nor waiters and waitresses, headmasters and headmistresses....

It's not so hard to type s/he although I rarely see it used.

[bhg481]

Typing /saying "He/she" is no big deal but it sounds very clumsy to me.

[Auntypoll]

I think you'll find feminists refuse to call a non binary person a she when they are biologically male so you are on the wrong bandwagon there 😀

[barry1010]

In this instance Alec is clearly a man, the gender is known.

'Rebecca said she wants cake' has a different implication to 'Rebecca said they want cake'. 

[bhg481]

AP - there is a word available for things of an unknown gender ie, it. If a person's gender is not obvious then "It" could be used.

[Auntypoll]

'It' is rude when referring to a human 😟

[bhg481]

Any more rude than refusing to use someone's preferred pronoun?

[Auntypoll]

Barry 8.56 there is so much grammatically wrong with those two examples you gave they don't make sense 😄

rebecca says she wants cake, Rebecca says they want cake

rebecca said she wanted cake, Rebecca said they wanted cake.

cant see a problem myself 

[Auntypoll]

Refusing to use someone's preferred pronoun is rude....or ignorant...take your pick

[New Judge]

"Using 'they' is not mangling the English language. As a pronoun it's always been used to refer to a person whose gender is not known or does not need to be mentioned."

But, from barry’s description,  this person is highly unlikely to be transgender. Fewer than 0.5% (1 in 200) identified as transgender in the 2021 census. It is reasonable, then, since he has the appearance of a man and a name usually given to a boy, to call him a man and use male pronouns when referring to him. All the police are interested in is finding him. When they do, they can discuss his sensitivities with him at length. Meanwhile, those people whose help the police want in finding him can keep their eyes skinned for a man and tell them when they spot him.

"I think you'll find feminists refuse to call a non binary person a she when they are biologically male so you are on the wrong bandwagon there 😀"

But we don't know that this person is "non-binary" and unless and until he's found we won't find out. Asking people to look out for "them" won't help in the search.

“rebecca said she wanted cake, Rebecca said they wanted cake.

cant see a problem myself”

If you believe theose two statements mean the same thing you’ve demonstrated very readily that there is a problem. 

“Refusing to use someone's preferred pronoun is rude....or ignorant...take your pick”

But we’re not talking about that here. We’re talking of a man who we’ve never seen or met (and so have no idea what his “preferred pronouns” might be) who is 99.5% likely to prefer male pronouns. Using “they” in those circumstances is no more inappropriate than using “it”.  If I meet someone with all the apparent features of a man but who says he prefers to be called a duck, I’ll call him a duck. It doesn’t make him a duck, of course, but I’ll humour him for the sake of politeness. But in the circumstances barry describes, I’ll stick to referring to the missing man as “he”. I’m sure he won’t mind, so long as he's found safe and well.

Gender has become larely a matter of opinion and until that opinion is known, to avoid clumsiness and confusion, it's best to stick to what is overwhemingly most likely to be appropriate.

[ToraToraTora]

I know, does my loaf in too.

[Ellipsis]

> Police say they need to know that 'they' are okay.

The police obviously knows Alec's name and preferred pronouns.

[ToraToraTora]

it's ridiculous, preferred pronouns my April. No one has the right to dictate language. He/she end of.

[barry1010]

Ellipsis, the WMP does the same on every missing person appeal where they give no additional information such as 'wife and mother'

[Ellipsis]

The idea that Alec's name and age are known, and preferred pronouns are not known, is ridiculous. But anyway - Alec's missing, the police are involved, it must be serious, perhaps that should be the focus ...

 

[Ellipsis]

The latest news from West Mercia Police ...

https://www.westmercia.police.uk/news/west-mercia/news/2024/june/have-you-seen-lawrence/

Lawrence is described as white, 5ft 5, stocky build and bald. 

When he went missing, he was wearing a black and blue colour raincoat, cream trousers, and cream trainers.

[Old_Geezer]

In this type of context "they" has been used as long as I can recall. It's when the sex of an individual isn't needed to be mentioned. It becomes unacceptable as far as I am concerned when an individual demands others use it when referring to them. No one is a "they" even when "they" are confused.

[naomi24]

I agree barry.

 

//Rebecca said they wanted cake.//

 

Rebecca is going to have to buy more than one cake then.

 

The media has a lot to answer for in encouraging this abject nonsense.  Even when reporting a man who claims to identify as female has raped someone, they refer to him as she or her.   Why?  Out of 'respect'?   What's to 'respect'?  He's a rapist!