My best friend

[starlight123]

Hi everyone, just need some advice and maybe a cheering up. im in love head over heels with my best friend and i have been for a year now, you see this time last year my best mate who i got on with really good asked me out, but i was scared to say anything to him straight away becuz im asian and he is white and my parents an family and friends would have disagreed and it wud have caused them pain. i decided to say yes to him after 1 or 2 mnt but the day i was gonna tell him, he found another girl, he said to me that we are best mates and he knows how much i love him and somedays he act like couples anyway hugging and stuff without the kissing, he has been with his gf for a year and every time they argue he knows he has me there, i have tried backing off cuz i no its not fair on his gf but i cant help how i feel everytime i back of, he tells me not to and that we are the bestest mate and he also tells me he loves his gf but im finding it really hard as i keep getting my feelings in the way of my friendship and its hurting me, i still do love him and i have tried hard to back of from him and his gf but he wants me there all the time and as a friend i cant deny him that, he also says he loves me some times and we flirt like mad what shud i do help plz x x x

[filthiestfis]

Tell him he has to make a decision. If I was his bird I wouldnt be happy seeing you there all the time. Just dont do anything stupid like sleeping with him, not only is it morally unjustifiable, but it will make you his bit on the side. If you really love him, have a frank discussion with him and give him a couple of months to decide what he wants, whether he is interested in you. Im no relationship counsellor though, other ABers can give better help im sure.

[counsellor]

Follow your heart sweety, don't let anyone tell you who you can and can't see. we only live once and if you follow your heart you'll be truely happy. x

[888sally888]

I think you should be honest with him and tell him how hard you find the whole situation.

If he is a good friend (which I am sure he is) he will respect your feelings and go along with what you want.

Maybe time apart will be the best thing for you both - he will either realise that he wants to be with the girlfriend or will miss you so much it willopen his eyes to how he feels about you.

In the meantime you must move on with your life which is precious. See other boys if you like them (bit naughty I know but that may make him realise what he is missing too!!)

Good luck and let us know what happens x

[dot.hawkes]

You say you are Asian, what religion are you then that makes you feel your parents would not approve? I am surprised you do not clarify that aspect and also that you mention skin colour when i thought it would be cultural and religious differences you would highlight.

[malisha]

It seems like he cant make his mind up, he tells u he loves u but he loves his girl.. i think hes confused, dont do nething silly like sleeping with him it'll just mess fings up. If yr family is a problem coz ur asian n hes white b4 u fink bout goin out wiv him fink bout where yr relationship is gonna go? if it ain gna b a longterm fing is it worth takin it to anova level coz ur gna have to end it if ur parents dont accept it n das gna b hard too. Unless u deide to b a rebel n go against em (lyk me.. n it wernt worth it). tryn get yr mind off him n dis situation 4abit. xx

[dot.hawkes]

malisha by daughter comes on here and uses txt speak and gets slated, you using that jive talk/fake rasta stuff is just laughable.

[malisha]

dot.hawkes
if u hav issues wit the way I or ne1 else speaks dats your problem. : )

[ummmm]

I agree Dot.

Malisha - It's just to hard for us to read.

[blue eyes ;)]

i read it no probs,i write like that in tex but maybe its better to write clearly on here so no one gets confused xx