Am Mentally Not Good

[JinnyJoan]

am finding it great difficulty in trying to see sister in hospital on a daily basis initially when in different hospitals etc but this past week am trying to see her on an every day basis the hospital is at the other side of me and it is difficult from me to travel.

even my friend who visited her on Friday said that the dinner came into her to room and she didn't try to you know raise her self to eat this is after 6 weeks lying down

she is on eating only 4 rounds of toast per day ( she did say the food is great but she can not eat it)  the diatician has been round to her asking why she is not eating and she said they food is but she just can't eat and so in 5 or 6 weeks she has lost 2 stone.

also - no TV, radio no ipad (told old for that ) - I told her she was getting no stipulation and she eventually will get sicker  and the thing is upsets me when you go in she lying if she is sleeping with her mouth wide open up and staring the ceiling - there is nothing (nothing to the with the staff) she can do.  I am looking back in the past  (in the earlier day)  lady who suffers from OCD to this, keeps herself in immaculate condition and now this to this.

 

she just a person who won't do what she is told eating walking and etc.  

physio meeting me on Tuesday to make an appointment to to assess her house and get aids (like he sorta meants a couple of rails ) hello - Jesus it will mean more than a few rails and she she also has to negotiate inside the 22 stair (that's never going to happen)  and whilst the lad physio lives near to her house he cannot get over (whenever he eventually gets in) how large they are.

 

Even thou she is extremely composis mentis - I just see herever home in some care care - and she will break her heart.

Thanks for listening to me

 

 

 

[barry1010]

I feel for you, JJ.  It is distressing to see a loved one in this way.

Try to keep optimistic.  You are doing everything you can for your lovely sister; be sure to look after yourself, too.

[david small]

It sounds like she has given up on living. She may want to move on. This very same happened to my mother.

Your sister has all her mental faculties you say. Baring depression or pharmaceutical influence, she may have decided that it was her time to depart this world for the next. Her choice.

[barry1010]

JJ, don't dismiss the idea of your sister returning to her own home.

You will be surprised at the adaptions that can make all the difference. You say it is a big house so it is possible to put a bedroom and bathroom downstairs or a stair lift.

I have seen lifts and ramps outside houses to help disabled people get in and out of their homes safely.

I'm sure she will feel much better when she is in her own home.

If that really is not possible your sister might be moved in to a sheltered flat so she can be e independent or a residential home that suits her, with activities and more interaction.

Try to be positive 

[DDIL]

Try to be positive in front of your sister, she will be picking up on your negativity.

Wait and see what adaptations they can do to her house, honestly there is amazing kit out there to help people stay in their own homes.

But, if she doesn't make it home try and get her a flat in a sheltered housing scheme where she still has to 'look' after herself but has help on the ground if needed.

[Old_Geezer]

Why can your sister not eat the food; did she say ?

[JinnyJoan]

thanks for your posts - absolutely goes hayway if she think her bed accommodation will be downstair.

can't answer them all - Geeze=  just stand not like hard vegies, tablets in her mouth.  

Has a real phobia of them - I know when nurses are turned she is hiding the tablets etc.

I made her platter of egg and onion sandwichs either in the last hospital and she wouldn't eat them.  I gave them to the nurses.

I have bought little containeers which if they were enough by the time to get the hospital they will be warm - oh er - she loves champ, like all creamed stuff.  So creamed potatoes and a small amount of cabbage with bacon . Like pured stuff    She feels bad enough  she doesn't want staff to feel blame at her not eating.  the food is very good in hospital.  

 

well I am here - anybody suggest little containers who could keep the food warm until I get to the hospital.  thank you

[JinnyJoan]

DDIL   - she does get depression when I sing LOL - think she is glad to say good bye LOL

[calmck]

Amazon has lots of insulated containers for food, they are not that "pretty" but practical.

Your sisters behaviour is not unusual. She could be frightened of falling again when doing physio and of getting out of bed. It takes a while for the anaesthetic drugs to completely leave one's body and older people can react to the anaesthesia for a while. She might be finding it difficult to turn on her side when sleeping. She might find small frequent nourishing snacks easier to eat than full meals. Is someone helping her to eat or do they just leave the food. She should be encouraged to sit in a chair to eat.Is she still on pain medication or antibiotics as these might affect her sense of taste. How about a small glass of something before a meal, sweet vermouth or sherry. We used to give this to all our oldies at meal time

[rowanwitch]

Jj, I am tempted to agree with the idea she has given up, not eating, and hiding medication, tells me this is someone who really doesn't want to get better.  Are the nurses aware she isn't swallowing her meds, they might get her switched to liquid forms which she won't be able to hide in the same way.

Her options are becoming increasingly limited possibly between one room living at home (she probably won't be strong enough to care for herself) and if she needs supervision to ensure she takes medication sheltered isn't suitable. Or residential care which in all honesty sounds a safer bet.  They are likely to try her at home with carer visits first and when that fails it will need to be residential care unless she has property which could be used to fund live in care. This is very very expensive. I don't know what support is available in Ireland,  the social workers will need to look into that for her.

There is of course the possibility she has become afraid of being discharged, and feels safer in hospital, this is very very common.  The answer would be some form of step down rehab care,  reckon on a week for every 10 days after 14  days admission  it can add up and not every healthcare authority offers it but it would mean her discharge needs are properly assessed by experts rather than each care staff.