Childbirth

[Brigitta]

I'm really really scared of childbirth. Does anyone know of how to make it less terrifying? I tried those Kegel exercises but I can't tell if I'm doing them right.

I'm a shy person and feel faint with terror at the thought of all the horror stories.

I've been told some terrible things. I'm really seriously terrified. How can I calm myself and prepare for this? I'm nearly hyperventilating just thinking about it and my baby is due in just 7 weeks time.

[crete]

first stop listening to the horour stories everyones experience of childbirth is different, all first time mums are apprehensive thats natural. you need positive information , talk to your midwife and if possible attend ante natal classes, have you completed a birth plan yet, ? talking to other women in the same possition will also be helpful, and just think in a few weeks time a lovely baby !!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[lynneylou]

opt where poss for a water birth, very relaxing aids the contractions and once all over both you and baby are clean and fresh and ready for a sleep!!!!

[socasa]

i haven't given birth so i'm not realy qualified to give advice. However, I do know that working out your pelvic floor muscles will get them limbered up. Tighten and hold your pelvic floor muscles just as you would if you were hanging on to go to the loo. Hold for 3 seconds and release. Build on the hold with different reps. Keep active by doing some very gentle swimming.
I'm also terrified of the thought of going through childbirth and hyperventilate just thinking about it when i'm not even pregnant. Everyone has a different threshold of pain. medidiate and try not to stress yourself (and your baby) out beforehand.

[ummmm]

Don't worry sweetie. It's (usually) a slow build up. It's not what you may think. You will be covered up for the majority of the labour and the midwifes will be discreet if you put it in your birth plan. By the time it comes to pushing you probably won't care because you know you are just about to meet your little baby.

[sleepyj]

i have had 2 children .i was lucky no problems just had gas and air.just think it will all be worth it in end when u have the baby 2 hold .make the most of it when they young as the older they r more pain than giving birth .lol good luck

[redcrx]

i was you 18 months ago, absolutely petrified of giving birth. at 42 weeks i was taken in for induction and was still terrified. A midwife on the ward told me that being nervous was holding me back and preventing labour. I spent the next 2 days on all fours until finally labour was started by the midwife breaking my waters.
After the waters broke i can honestly say that all fear went out of the window, your body takes over and theres no time to stop and think about whats happening.
Speak to your midwife and partner about what you want to happen in your ideal birth plan.
As Linneylou said, a water birth can be great. It does mean that you cant have an epidural though but can have gas and air. I wasnt allowed a water birth because i was overdue by so much but I got into a normal bath at 8pm after waters went (2cms dilated) and by the time i got out at 11pm id made it to 7cms with no pain relief.
Have you tried taking raspberry leaf tablets or tea? These are meant to prepare the cervix ready for birth and supposedly ease labour. Perineal massage cal also help to reduce risk of tearing.
Are you a member of a birth board? I recommend ivillage boards as you can join a group of mums all due in the same month. Many will have the same worries and fears and theres nothing to stop you asking on other boards for advice either. heres mums due december 06 board http://messageboards.ivillage.co.uk/iv-ukpbdec 06
as has been said, all births are different, best to speak all your worries through with others and decide what youd like to happen but be prepared for any changes.

[crete]

red.what a fabulous site well done for sharing it with new mums to be.

[redcrx]

i rave about it. I joined 3 weeks after i found i was pregnant. Im still on there, the boards change to mums clubs after the babies are born. Some boards even have meet ups and ive met so many wonderful mummys over the last 2 years. Just before the babies 1st birthday we travelled from all over the country to meet at twycross zoo, i did panic for a bit though cos 3 out of the mums staying at the hotel i did fell pregnant that week lol

[Brigitta]

Thank you for all the great answers. That website IS great too!

:)