confused2

[sophie_1003]

anyone who answered my confused question the other day--thanku very much, saw my boyfriend yesterday and sort of got things sorted. it turns out the reason he was having doubts was cos he had a "crush" (his word) on this girl in his college class, had a feeling it might be something to do with her. he now insists hes over it but still doesnt want things to move as fast between us as they might have been doing. i forgave him for the crush thing as he was very honest with me and assures me its over, but last night after hed gone i had a chance to think about it and got v annoyed! so am going to talk to him tomorrow about it, just to let him know im going to need a lot of reassurance and that if he ever hangs out with her so its just him and her i would be fuming! we're trying to break out of our routine, hence seeing him tomo when i usually wouldnt and i think we'll just have to see how it goes. does that sound like a sensible idea?

[marley2000]

sounds like you are being very sensible. i don't think ive seen your other email so my comments will be based on only this post. it is very good that he has admitted this crush and was honest with you. we all get crushes and they come and go and he probably didn't need to tell you if thats all it is but if it was affecting your relationship it was good that he did. if he really only sees it as a crush then hopefully he'll understand that it will fade. just explain to him that you need to know that you are the one he loves and that she didn't mean anything and that he never wanted anything to happen with her. hopefully this is someone you can both forget about but so far it sounds like you have a very healthy relationship.x

[sophie_1003]

thanku so much!! i told my mum about it and she said he was out of order to tell me about the other girl, i told her id rather he was honest with me and she got all wierd about it! i dont know about completely forgetting about her yet as she is in his college class and he was friends with her before this crush developed so i think ill just have to accept that if he didnt do anything about it when it first came about hes not going to do anything now, will still make my feelings clear about them being alone though, my friend keeps encouraging me to lay down the law to him lol but i done think ill do it that harshly!

[andover888]

Great answers guys. Can't say anything that they haven't said. Hope it works out x

[sophie_1003]

im 19 hes 20, we've been together four years so I think it has made us quite mature about it, maybe if we'd only been going out say a year it would be a lot different! very good to hear a lads point of view actually, very reassuring! (if that sounds sarky its not!)