Where Has Neighbours Gone On Amazon...
Film, Media & TV2 mins ago
im a17yr old gaymale,and recently iv been visiting this gay website,and been chatting to other gayguys,nothing sexual or that,i was only wanting 2chat 2 other people like me.saturday evening i was going to work,and accidently left my computer on,asi was in arush and i must have not relised.only my big brother was in,but he was going out for the night.Then yesterday night me and my mum where in the living room chatting and he came in drunk(nothing new!),and he told me never to chat to him again,and i didnt think anything of it(wearnt close),then he said he had been on my computer and he found a few stuff!(you could imagine my face).then he said i had been visiting thhis website called gaydar and my computer was full of gay porn!and i can assure you that i havnt got one single pic on my comp!and he told my mum to go through aand search my comp.i just ran out the room in tears and locked myself in my room,and i could hear two of them chatting,she told him she knew anyway.I went straight to my bed(this was at 5 and just cried all night) and my mum kept coming through asking if i wanted anything to eat or that,but i just kept telling her to go away.This morning she was going off to work at 10(brother left at 8),and she told me she will chat to him tonight.But he will make sure everyone knows,i have3 otlder brothers aswell.and i know that they will never talk or come 2 our house again,they are always saying how disgusting it is and that they should be shot etc.now im dreading going to work 2night cos i no i will end up breaking down or something and not want to go home.iv been keeping this in for nearly 5yrs now,and now its all gonna come out like this,i was happy with the way things where.my male friends will never be the same again with me..too long...ill continue the rest.....
No best answer has yet been selected by fiferboy. Once a best answer has been selected, it will be shown here.
For more on marking an answer as the "Best Answer", please visit our FAQ.fiferboy. I really feel for you. You must be feeling so alone. Please phone one of the Gay Support groups. You will find them in the telephone directory, or your doctor's surgery notice board or library might have the number. You need to have someone to talk to, otherwise you will make yourself really ill.
We are all very supportive on this site, so you will get a lot of positive help from people, but I think you need to chat to someone face to face.
You are a perfectly normal young lad and it is a shame that your brother has done what he has done. Your mum sounds very much as if she will support you. I'm sure your family will be there for you.
Best wishes
Fiferboy, you don't sound heartless at all. To me, it sounds as if your brother has had a big shock and is now being very childish. It must have been a lot for him to take in, and now he is reacting to it by lashing out and rejecting the whole idea. I'm afraid it does sound as if he is slightly homophobic (?!), but if he cannot get past this and accept that you are still the same person, still his little brother, then quite frankly I'd leave him to stew.
It sounds as if your mum would be a good person to talk to. Let her in, don't be scared to tell her everything. She's your mum and she will understand and stick by you. I really feel for you, as it is a lot to deal with and you have been put in a position now where you have to come out when you're not really ready. But remember this: you do not have to prove anything to anybody. You are who you are, simple as that.
You might be surprised by your friends' reaction when they find out. Let's face it, fiferboy, homosexuality is hardly anatheama (I think I've used that word right!) anymore, and if they are true friends they'll accept it and move on.
Be brave, be strong, talk to your mum, and remember that us answerbankers are always here for you!
Hi fiferboy, what a terrible situation for you to be in. My thoughts are very much with you. As others have said here, your choice to come out in your own time has been taken away from you and this situation has been forced on you. I have a friend who was in a similar situation. He was forced to come out because a news paper article was written about his partner and he was named in it. He and his partner came to my house extremely worried at 6.30am on the morning the article was written. he was so scared about his parents (particularly his dad) seeing the newspaper or hearing about it. We chatted and he felt it would be better to tell his parents and asked if I would come with him. Once we got to the house he told his Mum and she was great but was petrified of his dad finding out. He and his Mum asked if I would tell his dad. I had a long chat with his dad who was absolutely shocked and rather angry but after a few days he came round. He realised that his son was just the same - nothing had changed - apart from the fact that he now knew he was gay.
fiferboy, I think when you are chatting to your family you should express to them your feelings and the disappointment the way this situation has arisen and that you feel that you weren't ready to come out. You can't turn the clock back but it is times like this and situations that we have to face such as this that form our character. It is great that you have been able to express yourself so honestly. It's unfortunate that this has been forced on you, but never be ashamed or apologetic about your sexuality. Yes, things may change at home and with family but it sounds as if your Mum will be a great support to you - and perhaps now you can really be who you are.
Hello fiferboy, I really feel for you. I agree with pretty much everything that's already been said. It sounds like your Mum is fine about your sexuality and is supportive of you. You mentioned that you heard your Mum say she knew anyway, so she's had time to get used to the idea. This may have come as a complete shock to your brother and, if he's had that blokey/anti-gay attitude drummed into him, as most young men seem to have, it could take him a while to come around and realise that you're the same person you've always been, and his attidude's been way off.
Anyone who is truly worth having in your life will, at the very least, learn to accept you for what you are.
Part of what you're feeling is fear of the unknown - the cat's out of the bag and you don't yet know how people are going to react. In a week's time you'll be in a much better position than you are now, because at least you'll know how things stand and you can then deal with any problems that might arise.
Take care, and remember that we're all on your side xx